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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23272984">An Assassin's Downfall</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessed_Fander/pseuds/Obsessed_Fander'>Obsessed_Fander</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Life As An Assassin [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Don't worry too much, How Do I Tag, Virgil needs therapy, death description, death mention, it's just an offhanded mention, just absolute chaos, let me know if I need to add any triggers, roman is stubborn, slight gore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:22:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>29,110</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23272984</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessed_Fander/pseuds/Obsessed_Fander</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>UNFINISHED: I may return to this at some point, but for the time being it is on hold as I am working on other projects</p><p>Virgil Storm is an assassin, the top one in the legion, led by D. His new assignment is the most important yet, the prince of their kingdom, Roman Magnola. There's only one problem keeping him from completing his task: he might be in love with the prince.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Pattton Sanders/Logan Sanders, Virgil Sanders/Roman Sanders, Virgil Storm/Roman Magnola</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Life As An Assassin [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1673518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. An Origin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Virgil had hated his job. He didn’t anymore, but we’ll get to that in a moment. He was forced into it at a very young age. How young, you may ask? Well, to be precise, it had started when he just turned five years old. And you also may be wondering, what exactly his job is. That makes the previous answer a bit more startling. The answer: an assassin. His first mission made him cry, and he hated ending people’s lives, but he was forced to do it in order to keep his family alive. Each of his parents worked daily on the farm, no matter if it was on days that workers were supposed to have off, or if they were supposed to start after the sun came up, or finish before it set. They worked eighteen hours a day, and never once complained about it, so Virgil learned to deal with his job that they had forced him into. Most kids of poor farms would just work on the farm, the family already had his three older siblings doing so, and they were still on the verge of poverty, so they put him into a much more well-paying job. He had a bit of an advantage as a child, asking his target to help him find his parents, leading them to somewhere hidden, and then having to plunge the knife into their chest. He almost passed out the first time he did it, barely managing to come back from his panic attack before his parents arrived. When they learned of how much he cried, instead of comforting him, they kicked dirt over him and left, telling him that he was pathetic for reacting the way he did.<br/>
Now, his parents weren’t necessarily bad people. They did some horrible things, but it killed them inside to send their youngest off into that field of work. They wanted to comfort him as much as they could when they learned how much it freaked him out, but knew he’d never be successful if he didn’t toughen up, and fast. So they made some rash decisions, and he hasn’t trusted since. He stopped feeling after a while, any and all attachment he began to view as a weakness, that could be used against him to keep him from doing his job. He cut off all ties with his family once he was eighteen, and that’s when his family truly realized their mistake. They had just wanted to survive, and made pretty idiotic choices to do so. But now, instead of helping them, he had left. He would send them a small portion of his money every other month, to make sure they didn’t die, but other than that there was no contact with him. His family mourned over the loss of their son, for though he hadn’t died, he had become dead to the world. His employer viewed this as a bonus, since he wouldn’t be kept from his job with such trivial things as family obligations. He hardened and learned to block out any emotions besides slight satisfaction whenever he finished a job. It was the only real thing that kept him motivated to keep working after all, and he knew the necessity of keeping his job, so he allowed himself those small moments of emotion.<br/>
His panic attacks disappeared. He wouldn’t allow himself to panic, it was detrimental to his abilities. His developed anxiety from his job vanished completely, since he had learned tactics to avoid being caught if he ever needed them. His employer saw how strong he was becoming, and realized the weapon he had made. He admitted that he was a little afraid of Virgil’s powers, but he also knew how powerful he himself could become if he kept using Virgil to grow in influence, as the other people in power slowly died off. The people were in fear, but they heard nothing about it being murder, only a deadly virus spread by certain aspects of being wealthy, objects that most better-off people had in their homes. They began throwing them out, allowing the employer to grow rich with his valuables and let him trade with other countries and markets who knew nothing of what they had supposedly caused. Virgil stopped being referred to by his name, so that emotions couldn’t be attached to it. His employer simply called him agent, as he was the best hitman he had. So yeah, Agent didn’t hate his job anymore, because he didn’t feel anything anymore. Not even happiness or relief when a job was completed, just mild satisfaction.</p><p>Agent’s P.O.V.<br/>
Another job is being assigned to me today. I’m getting better, remarkably so. My last job I had two weeks to do, I completed it in two days. It would’ve been much faster actually, except D wanted me to gather some information on him first, about his political plans. I got the info, delivered it to D, and made the kill. It’s surprisingly easy to get them to trust you, especially when I put up an act. I used to be a rather anxious kid - embarrassing, I know - so I know exactly how to act in order to seem nervous. They usually take pity on me, the “poor thing” that couldn’t work up the courage to tell them the bad news of what was happening, only able to lead them to where the riots or whatever horrible thing they cared about was happening. I took a wrong turn, seemed terrified of the alley, and they would do their best to survey the scene to make me feel at ease as I tried to remember the way. Then, while their backs are turned, a dagger or two could easily find it’s way into their heart. I can’t believe he still thinks I need that much time for a job, but he usually only gives me such large amounts of time for something easy when I have someone of extreme importance next. <br/>
Or at least, he always says they’re that important. Really, they’re just another life, sometimes a holder of necessary information, and then they’re another body. Nothing really new except maybe a higher social status. He’s never overestimated this much though, so perhaps it’s someone new altogether. A different type of person, to scare off the public even more so he can gain complete control. I know his plan, and I know how much he’s using me as a weapon. I just don’t care. I am a fatal weapon after all, why let that go to waste? It’s completely unnecessary to let something like me be thrown into the dumps of a common job, and any idea of pursuing a family died long ago, so it’s not like I have other things to attend to. I don’t even need to take a day off for emotional problems. It’s honestly confusing to me that people need to take time off of jobs because of others or a need to relax. Why can’t they just toughen up and learn to deal with it? It’s what I had to do, so why can’t they do it? Hell, I started learning to from age five, certainly it can’t be that hard for adults to have to. I shake my head to clear my thoughts, pushing D’s door open. He looks at me with a smirk, but I can see the hesitance in his eyes. Does he seriously doubt my abilities after all this time?<br/>
“I have another assignment for you, but this one you must take seriously.” I open my mouth to protest, but his eyes gleam dangerously and I snap my jaw shut. “I know you see most others as easy and you’re thinking that this will be no different. Well it will. I am ordering you to eradicate the most important figure in our kingdom.” I wait in silence, but when he doesn’t continue I press him.<br/>
“Who might that be? And what makes you think it will be so difficult for me?” I ask, my eyes as dull as ever. He sighs, seeming to think that I don’t grasp how “important” this is.<br/>
“Your next victim is the prince. Prince Roman, still not king because he has no suitor. He is openly bisexual, so you might be able to use that to your advantage. He is surrounded by guards at all times, so getting him alone will be a difficult task. If you get caught, you will lose your life, and if you somehow manage to escape then you will still have lost your job. Do not mess this up.” He growls out the last part and sends me off. As I’m leaving, he calls after me “You have two weeks! Use time wisely.” And the doors slam shut behind me. I quickly leave the building, pondering. As I’m wandering around town, trying to come up with a plan, I see a notice being posted. I walk over casually and read it.<br/>
A royal ball is being hosted, and all who are unmarried are welcome. It is to decide a future partner for the prince, and there will be three of them, one night after another, at the palace. Make arrangements now. It lists, and it starts tomorrow night. I sigh, putting on a nervous facade once more. I walk around town, finding things that would make me a noticeable attendant, but not enough to make me stick out too much. This is going to be a journey, and I’m not sure how long it will take. My hope is to take him out on the third night, so that way I’ll have earned his trust. Who knows, I might even be able to get him to fall for me, I can manipulate others quite easily. I’ve heard that it comes off as charm most of the time, otherwise just as me being a leader, so I don’t think I’ll have any problems with him suspecting me. I’m the best in the land after all, and I have to prepare as such. I mail off the portion to my family and head to the rest of town, looking for a clothing shop. The man there seems surprised to see me, but once he notices my “anxious” aura he seems to understand.<br/>
“H-hi. I’d like to have a few outfits made? I’m planning on going to the balls.” I say, a sheepish smile on my face. I let my body language play the act too, and he smiles understandingly at me. I feel a shiver of disgust run up my body at the thought of someone thinking me pathetic and nervous, but I don’t show it.<br/>
“Alright, what would you like?” He asks, and I think for a minute. <br/>
“A dress and two suits.” I say, and if he’s surprised about the dress he doesn’t show it. <br/>
“Alright, let’s get to work.” He says, and he starts measuring. I talk to him, chatting about what I’d like, and once the sun sets he finally finishes making them.<br/>
I pay for the outfits and leave, carrying them in a bag over my shoulder. I stop in town and buy a few accessories that will go nicely with each one, and once I’ve finished my shopping I head home. I practice my makeup, it was a hobby of mine before I allowed my job to become my priority. Back when I let myself feel emotions, I would spend hours just getting caught up in the different ways I could make myself look, awed at just how much the simple materials could change my appearance. While I don’t have that same awe - or really any emotions - towards the art, it helps a lot for when I have to disguise myself, or, in rare cases like this, dress up. I decide on an order as I practice, making sure I know how to set myself up for the next few nights. I’ll wear the cloaked suit the first night, to introduce myself a little and set myself aside from some of the other patrons. Then, once I’ve gotten to know the prince a little, I’ll wear the dress on the second night, the cloak having been a nice introduction to it, to make sure that his focus will be mostly on me and to get him to be more in awe, which will ensure that he’ll stay with me on the third night. I’ll wear the more boring suit the third night, as it is much more practical for killing. Plus, the dark colors will cover up any blood that might fall on me, though I’ve learned how to avoid that over the years. I fall asleep, dreamless as always, ready for what’s to come.<br/>
Or so I thought.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The First Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day passes normally, with me scoping out the palace and taking note of what the people are discussing. It’s always a little off-putting when I have to take these longer events, that require me to socially interact and talk to people as though I’m a normal citizen. I make sure I’m caught up on all of the gossip and popularities, and once the night begins to fall I dress myself up. I put on some eyeshadow underneath my eyes and some pale foundation to draw it out, and some black lipstick. I want to set myself aside in the beginning, and I’ll just add on tomorrow night, though I might tone it down on the night of the kill. I don’t want too much attention after all. I follow the crowds and manage to blend in as the people enter the palace, too focused on my task to pay any real attention to the detail of how they’ve decorated the palace. I see the elaborate designs but I don’t think about them, instead internally discussing my tactics and how best to integrate them into normal conversations. It’s always tiring to act like I still have emotions, so I mentally prepare myself, drawing up energy now so that I can continue throughout the entire night. I put on a nervous smile, and join the line of people waiting to meet the prince. I drop back to near the end, with only three others behind me.<br/>As I draw nearer the most peculiar thing happens. I catch sight of the prince, and my breath catches. He has a pristine white top, a little too bright for my tastes honestly, and a glowing red sash which gleams in the candlelight. He has gold embroidery all around, mostly in rows, and they depict music lines, like sheet music permanently etched into his clothing. His brown hair flops down brilliantly onto his face, but it manages not to hide his bright brown eyes, simply glowing with happiness. He bows to someone else, a stupid grin upon his face, and for the first time I feel my heart begin to flutter. What is this? Am I growing nervous again? I thought I stomped those feelings out a long time ago. But this feels different, something completely other than nervousness, though there is a hint of that in there. I can’t quite place it, but I push it down, letting a smile fall upon my face. I want to seem charming now, don’t I? I feel my heart beating faster the closer I get to the prince, but I force myself to calm down. This is just like any other mission, I remind myself It’s only going to take a slight amount longer. <br/>“Hello there!” The prince exclaims extravagantly, and I feel my smile widening. I bow as well, much more curt, but seeming happy nonetheless.<br/>“It is a pleasure to meet with you, your highness.” I say, and I feel light all of a sudden. Am I coming down with something? I haven’t allowed myself to be sick since I was ten. His grin brightens, and my heart pangs painfully in my chest. I must be coming down with something, there’s no other explanation. Oh well, I can manage.<br/>“Please, the pleasure is mine.” He says brightly, and I feel a giggle rising in my throat. I let it escape, might as well seem flattered, but internally I’m screaming. What’s happening? What’s wrong with me? I brush it off again, forcing myself to breathe and focus. As I walk off, he looks over to me briefly and mouths ‘Save me a dance’, and I let myself sigh in relief. He still has other duties, of course, and I can sort myself out while I wait for him to fall victim to my trap. <br/>Time goes by, and I sit idly, planning out every moment. What to say, how to act, how to keep this… thing under control so I can do my job. I plan out exactly what expressions I’ll use and how I’ll lead the conversation without seeming to, making him say exactly the things I want him to in order to form a closer “bond”. Everything that I usually do when I have to “befriend” one of my targets before killing them, for whatever reason. In this case I have to get him to trust me enough to take me out of the crowded room, which has guards covering every wall and a few remaining close to him at all seconds, and into a more secluded area, where there will be no one around to witness him falling victim. D will take over, I will continue on with my living, and all will be well, back to normal without me having to worry about this… problem ever again. I don’t think I’ve ever actually gotten sick since I convinced myself I wasn’t allowed to, it’s strange how persuasive I can be, even to my own mind and body. Unfortunately, that hasn’t stopped whatever this is from trying to interfere with my plans, but it is of no issue, it shall be gone soon enough anyways.<br/>“May I have this dance?” A voice asks suddenly, and I turn to see who it is. The prince has a hand dramatically outstretched, a hopeful smile on his face. I feel a smile growing of its own accord upon my own face, and I feel slightly perplexed by this, but I make no effort to hide the “happiness”. <br/>“Of course, my prince.” I say, taking his hand. I see him blush slightly as he draws me in, his smile growing more sheepish.<br/>“You may call me Roman.” He says, and I feel my heart fluttering once more. My stomach drops as realization hits me. That’s just it, I’m feeling. “And what name might I call you by? It would be nice to have a name to put to such a pretty face.” He says, and a blush spreads across my cheeks. Oh no, this is bad. I’m feeling again, for the first time. This could compromise the entire mission. I take a deep breath, thinking it through logically. Or, a voice puts in helpfully this could help you in being more authentic in how you act and speak, and allowing this “bond” to develop more naturally, thus ensuring your success. I allow myself to be reassured, and I smile at the pr- Roman gratefully, for now I get to play the part much more easily. It takes a second for me to remember my name, though if that’s from lack of use or these, ...feelings, it’s unclear.<br/>“My name is Virgil, though you may call me Virge.” I say, wanting to introduce a bit more casualty. After all, he told me to drop his formal title, which suggests that this bond is forming much quicker than I would’ve expected. He nods, his smile widening.<br/>“Well, Virge, I should hope that you know how to dance.” He says, and before I can respond he pulls me onto the main floor. I’m swept up into the dance, though it’s not too much trouble since I already know how (it was for another mission, I shall never speak of it again) and I feel myself getting lost in the music. I direct my attention back to Roman though, and I feel the heat rushing to my face as I dance with him. I wasn’t planning on him being - just so beautiful. It’s like my childhood dream of a prince was handed to me, and those emotions I used to have are flooding back. I’m laughing and talking with him; though some of it is still an act, I didn’t suddenly become completely human again, and it’s like something out of a dream. <br/>“How often do you get to go out of the castle?” I ask, wanting to know if there’s any chance that away from the palace might be somewhere that I could complete my mission. If so, then it would make this all the more simple.<br/>“Not very often. The guards follow me everywhere, it’s rare that I get to speak to someone one on one.” He says, a sad air to his words. I feel a rush of anger swell inside me, because how dare they not let him just interact normally, but I push it back down. There goes my idea.<br/>“That’s too bad, I suppose you wouldn’t be able to visit anyone in town then.” I say, planting the seed. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll come visit me, and then I can complete the mission before the three days. It would have to be the second visit though, so no one gets suspicious. He seems surprised, and I see a blush spreading on his face.<br/>“I mean, I could sneak out.” He suggests sheepishly, before he seems to remember that I’m still kind of a stranger. We’re still dancing, but I guess he- who am I kidding, we both forgot that there are hundreds of people around us right now. “Don’t tell anyone I said that, I’ll get skinned alive.” He says, worried. I laugh, a genuine, honest laugh, and I feel like my whole body grows lighter.<br/>“Well I hope to see you again, so I wouldn’t want to do that.” I say, and he relaxes. Once the song draws to an end he pulls away resignedly, a sad smile on his face.<br/>“I suppose I have other guests to attend to. Will you stick around to the end? There’s going to be another contest, and the winner is going to be accompanied on their way home by me.” He seems a little embarrassed, and adds “It was my father’s idea, and it’s too late to back out now.” I nod, this is another opportunity to make sure I have him wrapped around my finger. And to genuinely grow closer to him. I lock the thought away, I can’t let these feelings take control of me, I have a job to do dammit. <br/>Most of the rest of the night passes in a blur. I think someone else asks me to dance at one point, but I was too busy planning and trying to keep from letting my emotions start up again to acknowledge them, so they went away, looking a little upset, though whether they were angry or sad I couldn’t tell you. Not that I can’t read emotions, I just wasn’t paying attention. I get a little too lost in my own head sometimes, which is fine since I don’t interact with others for most of my life, but when I’m in public it becomes a little more obvious. I keep stealing glances at the prince, and every now and then I catch him doing the same. The end of the night steadily approaches, and when the clock hits midnight the king calls everyone to gather around near the thrones. He gets everyone’s attention and I start actually listening to what’s happening. I catch Roman’s eyes and he smiles, giving me a subtle thumbs up. I can’t help but smile back at him, before turning my attention back to the king as he explains the contest to everyone around, and most of the people around me seem eager to win.<br/>“Alright everyone. Now, there is going to be a contest. Everyone will be given three small throwing knives, each one is exactly the same so no one will have an advantage or disadvantage. The person to get all three of them closest the the target wins, and the winner will be accompanied on their way home by none other than the prince himself. Now please line up, we already have the targets set, so prepare yourself.” I smile brightly, now this will be easy. Emotions are hard to deal with, especially when you haven’t experienced them for almost 20 years, but knives? I could throw one into the center of a target 500 yards away, with my eyes closed. It was part of my practice, so that way I’d never miss a target, even if I had to kill from a distance. Everyone who wants to participate lines up, which is a surprisingly small amount of people due to what exactly the contest is, and there are guards position all around to make sure no one gets hurt.<br/>“Be warned, if you cannot throw safely from the distance required, step aside now. You most likely know if you can or not, so do not endanger others simply because you want to compete.” The queen adds, and a few more step down. It’s only me and about 20~30 others, so I am definitely going to win. The knives are handed out, and they start down the line. While others psych themselves out over the competition, I test the knives in my hands, adjusting to their balance, weight, and handles.<br/>“Alright, thrower number one!” Roman calls out, and the person who has the target with the number one on it throws. He barely hits the target with his first throw, hits an inch from the edge on his second, and lands right in between the two on his third. It goes down the line, and the closest anyone gets is someone who got halfway towards the center with two of them, and made it a little closer with the third. I laugh as they finally announce me, since I’m the last one to throw. I see the person who thinks he’s going to win and I can tell that he isn’t the nicest person there is, and I can see that Roman knows this too. I absentmindedly throw my first one, looking away, which causes a shout of concern from the prince.<br/>“Look when you-!” He goes to shout, but everyone falls silent. I frown, looking towards the target, but it hit exactly in the center, so I don’t know why the quiet happened. You hit in the exact center, idiot. Oh, yeah, that’s why. I sigh, throwing the second one, which splits the first one down the center. I hear gasps, but simply roll my eyes, and I look towards Roman with a smile as I throw the third. As expected, it splits the second knife right down it’s center as well, and the entire room is silent in awe. Finally, I hear Roman speak, and whispers break out in the crowd.<br/>“Well, it’s clear who the winner is.” He says weakly, stepping down. The crowd parts around me and we head out to the front, where a carriage is already waiting for us, with one of the guards as the coach. Once we start on our way, after me giving directions to the coach of course, he turns to me. “How did you do that?” He asks, confused and more than a little shocked. I shrug sheepishly, a shy smile forming on my face.<br/>“Practice?” I say, though it sounds more like a question. “It’s one of my hobbies, I just never expected it to really come in handy.” I lie easily, and I feel a little more in control. I can still lie and charm my way through situations, without any emotions involved. He nods in understanding, a smile forming on his face too.<br/>“That makes sense. I learned how to fight with a sword, but I doubt I’ll ever get a real chance to show it off.” He says, and I can hear the slight sadness in his tone. My heart pangs painfully again and I curse myself internally, while my mouth races ahead of my mind.<br/>“Well once you’re king you can have contests whenever you’d like, or just performances where everyone gets to show off their talents. You’ll have to show me sometime.” I realize what I’ve said and backtrack. You’re compromising the mission! “I mean- only if you want to, you don’t have to of course, I’m sorry-” I stumble over my words and I feel my anxiety rising. Huh, it’s been a while since that’s happened. I messed up because of these stupid feelings, and now everything is going to fail, and I’ll be out of a job and ruin any chances of completing the mission or even making the initial “bond” and-<br/>“Hey, hey, calm down.” He says, still smiling. “I’d be glad to show you, no need to freak out.” He says, and I let out a shaky breath. He laughs, though not harshly, and I feel my heart flutter again. Keep it together, you can’t ruin things now. <br/>“Thanks. I’m sorry about that, I have a bit of anxiety, so I freak out sometimes.” I admit. I mean, it was true a while ago, and now that my feelings are coming back - even though they shouldn’t be and it’s causing problems - it’s most certainly becoming true again. He deserves to know. Whoa, whoa. Deserves? So you actually want to make this bond with him? Not just to do your job, but you’re becoming attached to him? Slow down there, just do your job and get this over with. Idiot. I take a deep breath, and his smile widens.<br/>“It’s no problem, honestly. I had pretty bad anxiety when I was younger, so I completely understand. I’m actually happy you said that, I’ve never really had anyone to show off to, and someone who actually wants me to show them something like this is a surprise for me.” He says, and I relax immediately. Perfect opportunity for me to flirt again.<br/>“Really? I would’ve thought you’d have people all over you, begging for you to impress them with your skills.” I say, and he blushes brightly.<br/>“Well, I’ve never really had conversations with any of them. They just wanted me because I’m royalty, not because they were actually interested in a skill I had.” He says, and I feel like someone stabbed me. You aren’t actually interested either, you just need to kill him. I brush the thought aside.<br/>“That’s too bad. I’m sure if they got to know you they’d be wanting you even more.” I say, trying not to push it too far. He laughs, looking to me as he blushes harder.<br/>“You really are something, you know that?” He asks, and I feel my breath catch. No one’s ever truly complimented me before. And then I feel like that knife is being twisted, because he’s not complimenting the real me, he’s complimenting the illusion I’m putting on to do my job. Stupid. You can’t get attached! This is your job, you know this! Idiot! I hear the voice in my head screaming at me. I pay it no mind though. Instead, I vow to be as real and earnest with him as I can, while still doing my job. Finally, after some more chatting, we arrive at my house, a small cabin that is just enough to survive, and nothing more. <br/>“It has been a pleasure to ride with you.” I say as I step out of the carriage, falling back into smoother charm than the bumbling mess I was earlier. I can not mess this up. He smiles brightly, bowing.<br/>“The pleasure is mine, Virgil.” He says, his smile widening as he straightens himself out. <br/>“I bid you adieu.” I say, bowing more dramatically as I step away, a smile resting on my face.<br/>“And I, farewell.” He says, bowing and flailing his arms in a somewhat dignified fashion.<br/>“I shall see you again, my prince!” I call as I get even closer to my door, practically kissing the floor with my extreme bow. He laughs a little, his cheeks still red.<br/>“I should hope that I will see you tomorrow night, then.” He says, and I let out a small laugh. The guard coughs and he blushes even darker, smiling one last time at me before they ride away. I laugh again, opening my door and slipping inside. Once I’m inside the threshold, I expect my emotions to stop, since I’m back in this dreary place. Instead, I’m still left with this giddy feeling. Oh well, I suppose there is nothing for it. I head to bed, readying myself for the next day with this new development. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Having A Ball</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day passes in a blur, I head to town to get my hair colored purple, might as well make myself a bit more interesting, and for once I don’t think of the consequences of how disastrous this might turn out. My newfound anxiety doesn’t even bother me about it, and I feel like I’m floating on the clouds. As the night finally arrives and we head to the castle, I realize something that makes my stomach drop. He’s probably acting just as charming with all of his guests. But he spoke openly with me, and he said that no one else had had a conversation with him like that! You won the contest, he was supposed to make you feel special. Oh. I shake my head, clearing my thoughts and focusing once more one why I’m even interacting with him. This is my mission, it’s my job, just like any others, I can’t get distracted like this. I sigh, walking into the palace and placing a smile back upon my face. It wouldn’t do to have him think I’m unhappy to be here. I see a few people staring at me, I guess it is a little different for me to be wearing a dress. I see Roman and his whole face lights up as he notices me, making me blush a little bit. Dammit, control yourself! <br/>“Hello there, my prince.” I say, bowing to him dramatically. He laughs, smiling. He grabs my hand and places a kiss on the back of it, his whole face alight with happiness. I have to force myself not to blush. <br/>“Why hello, Virgil.” He says, and I feel my heart start to flutter. This is just another mission! Stop it! “Save me a dance?” He asks, and I nod, too conflicted to really say anything. He lets go of my hand and I walk away, he has to greet others after all. I try to keep myself in check, but it’s hard when every time I look up I see the prince, smiling and laughing with other patrons. I feel a pang of jealousy, but I brush it aside. I have him wrapped around my finger already, this will be an easy mission. I mean, he’s already wanting to sneak out of the palace for me, so it’s not going to be all that difficult.<br/>“May I dance with a lovely lady such as yourself?” A man asks, and I look up. It’s the same disgusting person that almost won yesterday. Well, if I hadn’t participated he would’ve won, but I wouldn’t say he was close. I look up, blowing my bangs out of my eyes, but he shows no surprise when he sees who it is.<br/>“I think you’d rather someone who is actually a woman, rather than someone simply wearing clothes that have become feminine over the course of the years, even though they were initially designed for wealthy men in the elite classes.” I say coolly, and now he seems a little surprised. He just spits at me though, walking away with a growl. I dodge easily, and his spit lands on the wall behind me. Just as I’m about to comment on it to one of the guards, I feel a tap upon my shoulder. I whirl around, hands up at the ready and a cold look in my eyes, before I realize that it’s Roman. I sheepishly lower my hands, a blush spreading across my cheek. That’s fine, but only since it’s to reassure him that everything’s normal. <br/>“Sorry.” I mutter shyly, more than a little embarrassed that I almost attacked him. I see the guards nearby standing at the ready, but he waves it aside.<br/>“It’s alright. Was that man bothering you? I saw him spit at you as he walked away, he was quite rude. Are you alright?” It takes me a moment to understand why he’s asking all these questions. He’s… concerned about me? Like, actually, genuinely worried for my well-being? Huh. That’s a first.<br/>“Yes, I’m fine. He just likes being rude to people, nothing new. I did save that dance for you.” I say, smirking. He blushes ever-so-slightly, but he doesn’t press it further.<br/>“I’m just glad you’re okay. Thank you, shall we then?” He asks, as the first song starts up. I see people staring as they realize that it’s the same person that he danced with first yesterday, who he’s dancing with again. I see some people beginning to understand why, and I feel my smile brightening. I have him under my thumb. We dance for a few songs, but finally others start to grow upset. I know I can’t hold him up forever, but it is nice to just spend time with him for a few minutes. No, you’re just doing the mission. <br/>“I suppose you need to pay attention to the other guests as well. I won’t keep you.” I say, and he nods regretfully as we break apart.<br/>“There will be another contest at the end of the night. Will you stay for it?” He asks, and he seems a little nervous, as though I’d have any reason to say no. I’m on a mission after all, there’s no way I’d refuse an opportunity to strengthen this bond so that he’ll trust me enough for me to complete it. <br/>“You say that as though I’d have something better to do. Of course I’ll stay.” I say, smiling brightly. The night passes a bit more slowly than the last, with me refusing any other options to dance. <br/>“Alright, gather round everybody!” The king announces, and everyone groups together quietly. He looks around happily, before continuing “There is another contest. Whomever wins the race shall be presented with a bouquet especially from the prince.” Roman nods sheepishly, and as we meet eyes he blushes. Everyone lines up, and I laugh at the man who glares my way, assuming that I’ll lose since I’m in a dress.<br/>“That old thing will slow you down, I’d like to see you beat me this time idiot.” He jeers, but I keep a blank face.<br/>“Ready, set, begin!” The queen shouts and we’re off. I begin at a leisurely pace, barely ahead of the competition. I don’t want to show off too much, but after a moment I get bored of how slow I’m going and speed up. I see the shock on his face as he realizes that I was barely trying when I was “struggling” to stay ahead of him, and it takes about five seconds for me to reach the end. About a minute later, everyone makes it to the finish line, panting and breathing hard. I’m not surprised, I’ve learned how to disappear in a second due to my job, so winning a simple race, where the fastest person is still pretty out of shape, is something I could do with my eyes closed. Backwards.<br/>“Once again, a clear winner!” The king exclaims once the silence is filled by whispers. I hear rumors being spread and I sigh, rolling my eyes as some of them actually guess my job. <br/>“Oh yeah, me being fast and having a somewhat dangerous hobby immediately makes me a murderer. Jeez, you sound like crazy fifth graders.” I say, and that shuts them up. I feel mild satisfaction and calm down, at least I’m back to experiencing just the one emotion. Maybe I’ll let pride slip in too so that I don’t have another near-fiasco like this. <br/>“Here you go.” Roman says, handing me the bouquet of roses. He bows overdramatically as always, the only difference is this time it’s in front of everyone. I hear applause starting and smile, at least someone is finally appreciating my skills.<br/>And that’s just it, isn’t it? The root of all these issues, and these pesky emotions that have suddenly developed. It is necessary for humans to have some sort of validation and human contact in their lives. I have contact, since I talk with D whenever he assigns me a new mission. But I’ve never had anyone truly appreciate my skills, no matter what I did. My family? They threw me out to become a killer so they’d have money, at age five. My employer? Doesn’t give a damn about me, nor how effectively I do my job, so long as it gets done. There are others who are way worse than me who are at my level, paid the same amount, and given more praise than I am. Hell, he’s never even said well done to me, even after doing highly difficult jobs like this one! All my skills have been simply for him and to make others stronger. To help others while I was weak. Well it’s time for them to wake up and smell the blood, because I’m not weak anymore! I’m a strong, ruthless killer. I murder people for a living and don’t even blink as I see the betrayal in their eyes. I haven’t felt anything since I was ten, and I haven’t allowed myself to get sick since then either. I cut off all contact with my family to remain strong, never developed any bonds so that I had no weak points. I will do my damn job!<br/>Again, though, that’s exactly what’s happening. I’m finally receiving appreciation, even if they don’t really know how or why I can do the things I do. Roman sees me as a valuable person, someone who he can trust, even if only for short periods of time. He compliments me and my skills no matter how terrifying they can be, and he has all rights to throw me out for them, to shun me and make me an outcast. All these people can theorize and believe the truth without having it confirmed and no one will bat an eye. Instead, they’re applauding me, saying that I’m worth something. That I won for once in my life, that I’m on top and worthy of a reward. And just like that, all pretense of my emotions having left is thrown right out the window. I feel like I’m about to cry, like my legs are about to collapse underneath me. This is just so… unprecedented, so unusual for me. Someone wants me, for who I am and not just the fact that I can do a job? It’s incredible, and terrible, all at once. I force myself to fake a smile once more, repressing the emotions and shoving them back down into the dark cave they came from. <br/>“You alright there Virge?” Roman asks, and I’m snapped out of my thoughts. I let my smile widen as a slight blush spreads on my cheeks, and I nod.<br/>“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little different to be the center of attention in a positive way.” I admit. I mean, it’s true, it’s just not the reason I’m acting so oddly. A frown crosses his face for a split second, but it’s quickly replaced by a smile.<br/>“Meet me on the roof at 3 am.” He whispers, and I feel my eyes widen, but he quickly steps away, acting as though nothing happened. <br/>The ball slowly draws to an end, and by the time everyone has left it’s already two am. I wait, hiding in the shadows, which is surprisingly easy to do considering I’m still in a dress, but soon enough it rolls around to three am. I see a shadowy figure climbing off of a balcony and smile, a cruel grin that would terrify even the toughest of monsters, slinking up the building easily. I find the small ledges and scale the wall as though it were a ladder, managing to avoid detection all too easily. I sneak up behind him, I still have a dagger on me at all times after all, might as well be safe and ready if the times strikes. I’m standing behind him, watching as he whistles to himself, completely unaware that I’m standing behind him. He thinks he’s completely alone, just waiting for me to show up, as though nothing is wrong in the world. I take a small step forwards, preparing myself to strike the second I see him blink, but then he surprises me. That’s saying something too, because it takes a lot to surprise me, especially when I’m about to make my mark.<br/>“Oh, my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch. A long, lonely time. Time goes by so slowly, and time can do so much. Are you still mine? I need your love, I need your love. God speed your love to me.” He sings, the first lyrics to Unchained Melody. Is he- I take a deep breath Is he actually in love with me? I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. Tomorrow is when I’ll do it, I’ll stick to my plan. I casually stick the knife back into my sewn-in pocket, stepping around Roman as he continues to hum quietly to himself. I plop myself down on the shilling next to him, a soft smile on my face. (And oh boy, was that the best mistake he’s ever made.)<br/>“Hello.” I say softly, but it still startles him. He jumps, holding a hand to his heart as he realizes that it’s me. <br/>“Oh, it’s just you. Geez, you gave me a heart attack.” He says, but he’s smiling. I smile back at him, laughing quietly.<br/>“Well then I’m glad you recovered from it so easily.” I say, and his smile widens. He leans his head back, his eyes sparkling as he stares up into the night sky.<br/>“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He asks, staring at the stars. I nod, but I don’t look up where he is. Instead, I continue to stare at his face as it lights up with awe and wonder, it’s not something I get to see very often.<br/>“Yeah” I say quietly “It really is.” He looks over at me, a smile on his face.<br/>“You wanna know what the next contest is?” He asks, his voice soft and a little breathless.<br/>“Only if you want to tell me.” I say softly, and his smile brightens.<br/>“Everyone has to make up a song on the spot, so you can’t come with something prepared already, and I get to choose who’s song is the best. The winner gets to live a day in the castle, with a full tour and their own room.” He says, and my eyes widen. I can win the physical contests no problem. But I have to sing? I don’t even know if I can! I haven’t tried since I was, like, four! And it’s not like my job encourages me to sing. You have to put real emotion behind the lyrics. But I suppose making a story is something I’m good at, so I might be able to pull this around.<br/>“I don’t think I can sing.” I say, and he shakes his head with a small laugh.<br/>“Of course you can! Let me hear, I’m sure you’re great.” He says, and I shake my head, my eyes still wide.<br/>“No, I mean, I haven’t tried singing since I was four, maybe five.” I say, and I feel my anxiety rising. Pull yourself together! You can go around with actual emotions like a fool! I take a deep breath, but it does nothing to quell my nervousness, nor slow my pounding heart.<br/>“Oh,” He says, his eyes just as wide as mine now “How come?” I flinch at the question - Really, is this where we’ve fallen to - but I answer anyways.<br/>“My family forced me into a job at age five, and it was one that required you to be serious all the time. I kinda just stopped... Feeling… once I reached ten, and I haven’t felt anything since.” I admit, leaving out the details of what my job is. “Well, not until I saw you, that is.” I say the last part quietly, but he clearly hears it, if the shock on his face is anything to go by.<br/>“You stopped feeling? Because you had to? And what kind of parent puts their child into a job like that at such a young age?!” He seems furious, before realization of what exactly I said sinks in. “Wait… I’m what made you feel again?” He says, and I see tears welling up in his eyes. I get a sinking feeling in my stomach, and I want to take it all back, but I find myself spilling everything. Well, almost everything.<br/>“A-at first I thought there was something wrong with me. Like I-I had gotten sick or something. Which confused me just as much, because I haven’t been sick since I was ten either, my job wouldn’t allow that so I just kinda… stopped. But then I realized what it was and I was so,” I ponder for a moment, before figuring out what it is I want to say “scared. I knew it could interfere with my job, but I couldn’t make it stop. A-and that’s where I really learned those skills. My job is very precise, so I was able to win pretty easily. But singing? I don’t know if it’s even possible for me to.” I say, and I feel the tears in my own eyes too. Dammit, this is exactly what you wanted to avoid! You’re useless now, you have to pull yourself together! At least this is one of your targets, so he’ll be dead before he can tell anyone of your weaknesses. <br/>“Hey” He says softly, getting my attention. I look to him with wide eyes “It’s alright. You can practice, and it’s my choice on who sounds best. So long as you try your hardest, I’m sure you’ll do great.” He says soothingly, and I look to him gratefully. I’m about to thank him, after all he did just comfort me when I’m going to kill him anyways, but I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I’m on my feet in an instant, and I spot a figure in the shadows. It feels as though time slows down as I see them pulling back on something, and an arrow shoots out. I see it spiralling as it moves forwards in the air, and each breath I take seems to last an hour. I reach out instinctively, ready to grab it, and just as I do so time speeds back up. I clench my fist just in time, and I find an arrow resting in my hand. Roman is staring, but I narrow my eyes and glare out into the shadows.<br/>“That bastard.” I say, and I know exactly what happened. D sometimes hires other hitmen to go after one of my targets so that I speed the job up, and eliminate the other assassin so that he doesn’t have to fire them. <br/>“Uh, Virgil-” Roman attempts to speak to me, but I throw myself off the roof, much to his shock. “Virgil!” He shouts, staring down after me, but I simply slide down easily, my hands long used to this type of abuse as they grind down the stone. I launch into the woods, much to the surprise of the other hitman, who is staring in absolute shock at me. I guess he wasn’t expecting the dainty little figure in the dress to be the top tier assassin in D’s legion. I chuck my knife easily at them once I’m safely hidden from Roman’s view, and I see him fall to the ground. I cover him with a bunch of leaves, and I spot a few bones nearby from an owl’s pellet. I grab them and place them over the mound, a signal for others to stay away. I sigh, dusting myself off and head back. I see Roman on the ground of the castle, staring sadly into the woods, and I sigh. I make the trees rustle near me and dash away, back to my home. I’ll “explain” to him tomorrow.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please, if there are any mistakes or you want me to add any trigger warnings, tell me. I won't be mad 😁</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Well Shit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Well, the night falls to day and I practice singing as much as I can. I find that I’m actually not too bad, I’m just severely out of practice. I head to town and take a few lessons, and I find that I can make songs up on the spot. Really, they’re just stories with a different type of voice, and I can lie easily enough that if you asked me to convince the most skeptical person of something completely untrue, I’d have him nodding in agreement with every word I said. I just need to use a different voice for this, make it sound the best I can, and I’ll do fine. When I finally arrive at the palace as night falls, I wait at the very end of the line, with no one behind me. Roman lights up as he sees me, but I see the confusion and worry in his eyes. I smile sadly to let him know I’ll explain, and he continues on greeting his guests. He doesn’t use the same enthusiasm he always does with me, and I find a smile forming upon my face, a blush spreading across my cheeks.<br/>“Virgil, it is a pleasure to see you again.” He says, bowing and kissing my hand once more. I bow as well, a sad smile still on my face.<br/>“I’m sorry about last night.” I say quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear. “You see, my job is that of a prosecutor, and whenever anything like that happens, especially something that would put royalty such as yourself in danger, we’re taught to leap into action. The criminal is behind bars now, so you’re safe. I’m sorry for running off like that though.” I say, as earnestly as I can while lying through my teeth. He nods thoughtfully, and I see a smile slowly form on his face as he realizes there’s no one waiting behind me.<br/>“It is quite alright. I see there is no one to wait upon, so will you let me have the honor of the first dance of the night with you?” He asks, and I smile wider.<br/>“Of course, my prince.” I say, blushing lightly. He laughs as he sweeps me up into a dance.<br/>“I told you, you can call me Roman.” He says, blushing as well. I nod, smirking slightly.<br/>“I know. I just like making you blush.” I say, and his cheeks darken, becoming a much brighter red. He’s still smiling though, and he lets out a surprised laugh. We spend the first few dances together, until, finally, we are forced to draw apart for the final time.<br/>“You will stay for the contest, correct? I’d love to hear that voice of yours.” He says, still blushing brightly. I nod sheepishly.<br/>“Of course.” I say, bowing once more to him. We part ways, and the night drags on, until the contest is finally announced. I wait, and Roman doesn’t seem to be interested in anyone else’s song, but then finally it’s my turn. I clear my throat, more nervous than ever before, and begin, looking at Roman the entire time.<br/>“There was once a lad of poorer a land, who remained loyal and true. He followed his family’s wishes always, no matter what they wished him to do. But then came a day, when his heart was away, and his feelings were locked up at sea. He found a young man, who dashed all his plans, and cleared his eyes to see. His voice, though unused, he hoped would woo, the man of his dreams who he loved.” I sing, never breaking eye-contact with Roman. When I finish the entire hall remains silent, and I feel my heart pounding against my chest.<br/>“Roman? Have you decided a winner?” The queen asks, nervous. The silence breaks and instantly there are murmurs around the hall.<br/>“Well, it looks like we have our third time champion. Virgil, welcome to your home for the next day.” He announces, and I feel my heart flutter as he smiles at me. I realize what this means, and my stomach sinks, but not necessarily in a bad way. My emotions hide away as my goal is locked in my mind now, set in stone. <br/>“The balls are over then, I suppose. Roman, why don’t you show our guest around for now.” The king says, and everyone starts to sadly shuffle out. I notice that the jerk isn’t here, and a dark realization enters my mind. The man I killed last night, one of D’s wasted hitmen, was him. I shake my head to clear away the thought, letting Roman lead me around. I plaster on a smile, and soon we’re together in our room. If I kill him now I could blame it on one of the chef’s who was preparing our meal. I’ll come out crying and sobbing, claiming I saw it happen and slipping the bloody knife into one of their aprons. He turns his back to me and I find myself hesitating. I pull out the dagger, ready to plunge it into his back for the final time, but just as I raise it, I feel myself… crying? Tears drip down my face, and everything washes over me all at once. A wave of pain hits me, and I feel like I’m watching this from out of my body. I hear the knife clatter to the floor and I break down sobbing, collapsing. My knees give out beneath me and I see Roman turning around, horror on his face as he sees the knife on the floor and puts two and two together.<br/>“Virgil?” He asks, terrified, his back pressed against the door.<br/>“I can’t do it. I can’t.” I say, shaking. I’m keeled over, and I feel myself losing track of where, and more importantly, when I am.<br/>I- I just killed a man! He’s dead! And it’s my fault! I feel tears forming in my eyes, and soon I’m all-out sobbing. This is what Mommy and Daddy want me to do? So they can be happy? He no longer exists, and it’s all because of me. He will never make any more memories, he’ll never smile or cry or laugh or sing, ever again. He won’t dream or run and play or work or even just sit down or stand up. It’s like someone just made the movie of his life end abruptly with no real reason or happy ending. He doesn’t get a happy ending, does he? I cry harder, shaking and just bawling at what I’ve done. They’ll hate me! I ended a man’s life! Oh god, and end it did. No one will ever get one last hug from him, no goodbye. They might not even find out he’s dead! They’ll just be told he’s gone missing, that no one can find him. I’m choking on my tears, and I curl up in a ball as I hear footsteps approaching. I hide away, scared of what my parents will think. They made me do this, but once they see what I’ve done they’ll throw me out for sure! I once hurt a pig and I didn’t get dinner that night!<br/>“Oh, look, he’s crying. How pathetic.” Daddy says, disappointed. I only cry harder as they walk away without saying anything else. How can they hate me so much? <br/>“I’m sorry.” I manage to splutter out through my tears, and Roman’s still frozen in terror. <br/>“Virgil.” He says coldly, and I flinch back “Tell me the truth. What have you lied to me about?” He asks, and I feel myself breaking even more. “Was this all an act? Did you really just want me dead this entire time?” He asks, and I hear the hurt in his voice, even if he tries to hide it. I try to speak up but nothing comes out, and he spits down at me, standing back up fully. “Really? You want to kill me and then break down crying? How pathetic.” I flinch violently, slamming into the wall. He doesn’t seem to care. “You have five seconds to explain yourself before I call the guards.” He says, holding up five fingers. I panic, tears flowing faster than ever before.<br/>“It’s my job!” I shout, and I curl in on myself even more. He seems shocked, but he lets me continue. “That’s what I lied to you about. I’m not enforcement of any kind. This is what my parents made me start when I was five. I’m” I bite back a sob, trying to continue speaking “I’m an a-assassin. A hitman. I was told my next assignment was to kill you.” I say, and I grow quieter with every word.<br/>“How much of it was fake?” He spits after a moment, and I flinch again. He only grows angrier at this. “How much of these emotions and playful banter was just an act?! I was just some pawn, huh?! Just another stupid target you had to kill! So you decided that making me fall in love was the best option! The one that would make it so easy to kill me!” He’s shouting now, and he stops to breathe for a moment. “Then why couldn’t you?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper now. I look down at the floor, tears still flowing down my face.<br/>“I-I thought that I could wrap you around my finger. Another face, another name. B-but then I-” I’m cut off by another sob, and I can’t continue. Silence stretches between us, cold and harsh, and then-<br/>“Then you began to feel, for the first time in years.” He finishes for me, understanding dawning in his eyes.<br/>“I-I thought I could push through it, that it would just make my act seem more genuine.” My words are slow, like I have to pull them from a dark pit that I can’t find. “I almost killed you that night up on the roof, but I decided to wait. I think I knew then that I wouldn’t be able to do it, but punishment from D is so much worse than any guilt I’ve ever felt. I-it was still working, but- but I-” I take a deep, shuddering breath, trying to calm myself. “Then I fell in love with you. You were the light that I never had, you made me realize I don’t have to be like this. You showed me that there are people who actually appreciate me for my skills, instead of just using them. I pushed it down, tried to continue on but I- I couldn’t.” I say, finishing with another pathetic sob. <br/>“Virgil.” Roman says, sad yet soft. I shake my head, looking away.<br/>“Don’t. Throw me in the dungeon, have me executed, I know I deserve it. Give me justice for my crimes. Just don’t pity me. I know you have no reason to trust me, don’t take my weakness as an excuse to try and fix me.” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. <br/>“Virgil, no.” He says softly, crouching back down to my level. I flinch back, hitting the wall again, and I see pain in his eyes. “I wouldn’t throw you into the dungeons. You were forced to. You even said yourself, you didn’t want to do this, but you had to in order to survive.” I see a tear slip down his cheek and guilt courses through me, knowing I caused it.<br/>“But I could’ve stopped this entire time. Instead, I’ve just ended countless innocent lives.” I say, shaking. He shakes his head, looking sad and guilty. Why?<br/>“What motivation did you have to leave? It kept you alive, and you were practically programmed into believing it was the only thing you could do. But you stopped. When it mattered, you admitted it, and you gave up your weapon in a moment of weakness.” He attempts to explain, and I look up with wide eyes.<br/>“Roman, I-” I feel myself choking up again and he seems to understand, coming forwards and enveloping me in a tight embrace. After a moment of shock, I return it. My eyes close. “There are so many people dead by my hands.” I whisper, and the guilt of it all is crashing down on me, the years of unfelt emotions rushing back to me. It’s overwhelming, I can barely breathe, but his grip tightens.<br/>“No.” He says, his voice determined “By your employer’s hands. By the hands of those who took a child and brainwashed them into thinking their only value was their usefulness in assasination.” He says, and after a moment he pulls back slightly, just enough to see my face. “Who are they?” He asks, and I freeze.<br/>“I- I don’t know their name. They just go by D.” I say, and he thinks for a moment. “He’s been targeting the wealthy, spreading rumors that their deaths were caused by illnesses from items that only those in the higher-class possess.” I explain, and his eyes narrow. <br/>“So that’s why I’ve been hearing rumors about that.” He seems to have a growing understanding, only for his expression to change back to one of confusion. “Wait, but there have been hundreds in the past few months. Surely you couldn’t have-?” He doesn’t finish the though, but I understand. I shake my head.<br/>“No, he has a whole legion of assassins at the ready.” I grow sheepish again. “That’s the full truth of what happened last night. He’ll sometimes send one of his men that he wants to get rid of to go after one of my targets. The expectation is that I’ll take them out for interfering, so he doesn’t have to fire them.” He looks nervous.<br/>“So there’s no one in custody, I’m assuming then.” I nod grimly. He sighs. “This goes deeper than I thought.” I nod again.<br/>“He has a whole underground operation going. He takes the items that people discard - due to the rumors - and sells them for exponential profit to other kingdoms. He’s effectively becoming the richest person on the continent, save for your family of course.” I expand, and he looks visibly frightened now. I prepare for him to start shouting again, for him to lock me up for not telling him sooner, but he just sighs tiredly. <br/>“Let’s continue the tour, we can deal with this more in the morning.” I bite my lip nervously, and I decide to just come entirely clean. I pull out another dagger, and a miniature bow with poison darts. I dump them on the ground, dropping them as though they’re burning my fingers. He stares at them for a moment, before letting out a light chuckle. “Of course.” He says, and I look away. <br/>“Please get rid of them. I don’t want them anymore.” I force back tears. “I never wanted them.” I whisper, more to myself than anything, and I see him looking at me with a critical eye. I guess it’s hard to know if I’m acting or being earnest anymore, after this bombshell of a revelation. I honestly can’t blame him.<br/>“Did he make them?” He asks, and I shake my head. <br/>“He doesn’t care nearly that much. I fastened them myself to, make the job easier.” It’s suddenly hard to talk about. It’s easy, when I’m discussing a mission with D, it’s just like any other conversation, but with Roman it’s like I’m revealing the worst sins of my past. Which, I guess I am, but it doesn’t make it any easier. He takes them carefully, like they might attack him at any moment, and he slips them in his pocket. He doesn’t say another word on the matter, leading me through the tour with the same enthusiasm as he had before. I guess I’m not the only one who has experience needing to fake pleasantness for a living. When we arrive back at the room we don’t say anything, both of us sitting on the enormous bed, our backs to each other. I can practically feel the anxiety radiating off of him, what if he can’t trust me, what if I’m still going to kill him, and I wring my hands nervously. He should’ve locked me up the moment he found out.<br/>We eventually get into bed, and I frown. Was it the king's idea that the winner would share a bed with the prince? Is he really that desperate for his son to find a partner? Though, I suppose with the rumors going around, and the fact that neither the king nor queen look all that healthy to begin with, so maybe they just want to ensure that if he becomes king soon, that he’ll have someone to rule with? I don’t really know. Roman falls asleep before me, and I feel what’s left of my composure crumbling. He, after all this, felt safe enough to fall asleep right next to me? And he still has my weapons on him! I close my eyes, silently letting the tears fall as the emotional exhaustion overcomes me, lulling me to sleep.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Conversation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There’s a quiet rapping, like someone knocking on a window, and I bolt awake. I look around, it’s the middle of the night, and the prince is still asleep. I glance at the window, and my heart sinks. It’s one of D’s messengers. I bite back my frustration. I always complete my task on time, yet on the more important ones he sends someone to check up on me and scold me for taking so long, even if it only takes hours. I glance once more at the sleeping prince, and my heart pangs. I put on my usual facade, the typical annoyance that I always show to these messengers, and I open the window. They don’t come in, and I notice that their black clothing barely reflects any light, but even still I’m surprised they managed to sneak up here without being spotted by guards, especially on a night like this.<br/>“What are you doing here?” I demand, my voice barely even a whisper. They scoff.<br/>“Seeing why you’re resting on the job, especially when your target is so vulnerable.” He spits, barely bothering to lower his voice. I let out a low growl.<br/>“You’re going to compromise everything, and it’s not even your mission. It’s been three days, the time limit was two weeks, so mind your fucking business.” He goes to protest and my eyes narrow “Say another word and I will have the guards called on you. With your position, you should know how expendable you are to D.” He gasps indignantly. <br/>“And how would he react to you killing one of his workers?” He asks, and I smirk.<br/>“He’d take a hundred dollars off my pay and consider it dealt with.” I respond simply, and there’s dawning horror in his eyes as he realizes I’m speaking from experience. <br/>“Fine, but know that D wants you to talk to him tomorrow, 1 pm sharp. Find an excuse, or consider yourself dead.” He snaps, before disappearing into the night. I sigh, shutting the window and turning around. I close my eyes, leaning my head against the cold glass. <br/>“Welp, I’m dead.” I whisper to myself, fully aware that Roman woke up the second I opened the window. The idiotic messenger had no clue, but I heard the small rustling of the sheets, the almost imperciavable change in his breathing patterns, the sudden stiffness of him trying to stay still. Despite this, I don’t open my eyes, letting him attack me if he wants. No doubt he’ll think I’m just pretending again after that.<br/>“Virgil?” He asks quietly, and I just hum in response. “Who was that?” Well, makes sense that he wants information first before killing me.<br/>“One of D’s messengers, telling me to hurry up just like he always does on important missions.” I still don’t dare to open my eyes, it’s better to die without seeing it, in my opinion.<br/>“And are you going to?” He asks, sounding somehow genuinely curious, despite the whole situation. I shake my head gently.<br/>“Nope, though I doubt that matters. I’m either dead here or by his hands.” I state calmly, and he gently touches my hands. Instantly my eyes fly open, shock coursing through me.<br/>“What do you mean?” He asks, his voice still soft, like he’s trying to calm me down. I swallow nervously.<br/>“Well, either you’ll have me killed for all this, or he’ll kill me for not completing my mission. Especially after the order to meet up in the morning.” I explain, trying to keep my voice steady. It’s somehow worse, now that he’s looking at me with his gentle expression, his soft touch lighting my hand ablaze. This is worse than the betrayals I see in their eyes, worse than being duped and immediately dying. This is torture, being so close to something, but knowing that I’ll die before I can ever have it, knowing that even if I somehow survive, I’ll be scorned and thrown away, and knowing, above all, that I deserve it. Knowing just how much I deserve to be dead, or at the very least locked in a dungeon for the rest of my life, and yet still irrationally longing for simple comfort. Roman’s eyes never leave mine, and I feel as though I’m near exploding, my heart pounding in my chest. <br/>“Virgil, I won’t let them hurt you.” He says, and my mind shuts down. How? How can he say that? After everything, how can he still want to protect him? <br/>“Why?” I ask foolishly, before I can stop myself. His eyebrows scrunch together in confusion, and, under different circumstances, I’d be obligated to note the pure adorableness of the expression. But right now I’m on mini-trial for murder, so...<br/>“Because you don’t deserve to be hurt.” He says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world. I just blink at him, not quite processing what he means. He sighs. “Virgil,” He looks away, an embarrassed and pained look on his face. “I don’t know how much of your act was fake.” He whispers “But none of mine was. I” He looks close to tears “I actually fell for you. So I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same, but I will help you, I will get you out of this whole mess.” He says, pulling his hand back. <br/>I look down, how much of it was fake? I can’t even tell. I put on an act to get close to him, to make him trust me, but then there were the small moments. The moments he didn’t notice, when I couldn’t stop looking at him, when my breath caught, when I couldn’t let it just be an act. The moments when I got caught up, when I refused to hurt him, when I attacked with a little more fury than I needed to when he was threatened. The moments where I opened up, where I felt and didn’t show it, the moments that no one knew about, there was no one to fake it for, and I was a blushing mess to myself. Could I have really faked that? Why? Why would I allow this to happen? Why would I put myself in so much danger, at the risk of being killed or locked up, for no reason? I couldn’t bring myself to kill him, but why? Did I really fall for him? How much of my life has been a lie? An act? For others to watch as I’m put on display with no desire to be there? <br/>How much of my existence has been for someone else?<br/>Tears are brimming in my eyes, and I can’t tell if I’m breathing anymore. Am I really alive? Has this all been a horrible dream? I want to wake up, I want it to just end, but at the same time, there’s a small part of me begging for it to not be over yet, for me to have a few more minutes here. I can’t feel my legs, and my vision’s blurred. Do I even exist? Am I human? Why do I exist? To serve others? To provide a function? To suffer? I don’t understand. I thought I had all the answers. What happened?</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Secrets And Adventures</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I wake with a jolt, looking around panickedly. I don’t recognize this room, where am I? What happened? Slowly, my vision clears and I realize that I’m in the room from the tour. The memories come flooding back and I feel tears forming. I hear someone moving and my breath catches, what’s going to happen? How much of this was real?<br/>“Virgil?” Roman asks, and I whirl around, my eyes wide. “What happened? Are you okay?” He sounds so worried, so genuinely concerned, and I have to take a moment to breathe. It’s just so much.<br/>“I was about to ask you the same thing.” I say quietly, my voice barely allowing me to convey the simple message. His worry only grows at my statement.<br/>“I told you I’d help you and when I looked back at you you were in tears. I tried to talk to you but you collapsed, so I laid you down so you could rest.” He says, somewhat sheepish. My cheeks grow red and I look away. <br/>“Sorry. Apparently existential crises are stronger when you haven’t had one in 20 years.” I say, trying to lighten the mood somewhat, but he just seems even more concerned. I stiffen suddenly, remembering why we were up that late. “What time is it?” I ask, and he looks to a clock on the wall. <br/>“It’s five till noon.” His eyes widen. “They said you could make an excuse, right?” He asks, and I shake my head.<br/>“No, they meant make an excuse as to why I’m leaving the castle, he won't accept any explanation, even if it’s the truth.” I say, and he nods. <br/>“Then we need to get you out of here before something happens.” He says, and I frown anxiously.<br/>“But what are you going to say?” I ask, and he waves it aside.<br/>“We can just say that you had prior engagements, they won’t care.” I shake my head.<br/>“No, about... this whole... situation.” I say, unsure of how to phrase it. He pauses, looking at me with an unreadable expression.<br/>“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” He says calmly, and I just nod. It’s not like I’m going to argue. “I just have one request.” I look to him, growing more nervous. “Let me come with you.” Instantly I’m standing taller, a mix of protectiveness and extreme persuasion kicking in.<br/>“Are you kidding? Literally everyone in that building wants you dead, and the only way you’d be allowed to go is if no one knew that you were leaving - putting you at extreme risk. Plus, if I show up there with you, they’ll think that I’m showing off or something, and everyone else will try to kill me for not having offed you already!” I exclaim quietly, trying not to let anyone overhear. I see a stubborn look coming to his face and I sigh. “Look, I know I literally cannot stop you, but that does not mean I will stop trying to talk you out of it. It is unsafe, unnecessarily risky, it puts both of our lives in danger, and it requires sneaking around behind the backs of everyone in this kingdom, since if anyone sees you out it will make it’s way back up to your parents.” I explain, but he just crosses his arms. I guess I should’ve expected this after he snuck out at 3 am to see me after knowing me for barely even two days.<br/>“Teach me to sneak around the way you do! You made it onto the roof right next to me and I didn’t even notice until you said something! Show me how to do that!” He says, and I sigh again, pinching the bridge of my nose. <br/>“That took 10 years to perfect!” I explain, and he looks at me in disbelief.<br/>“And how the hell did you manage before then?” He asks, and I stiffen, an anger I didn’t know I had rising in me.<br/>“I did what I had to do the first time, pretended to be a scared kid until I got them somewhere secluded. It was only an act after the first five years.” I spit, and he pauses, realizing what he just asked. He deflates, looking shy.<br/>“Oh.” He looks down. “Sorry.” I relax, and resist the urge to sigh yet again. <br/>“It’s fine.” I glance at the clock. “But if you’re coming, we’re going to need a way to sneak out.” He lights up slightly, and I study the room. There’s slight scuffing on the floor in one corner, and the panel on the wall seems a millimeter shallower than the others. I walk over to it in two precise steps and press gently on the wall, ignoring Roman’s confused look. I listen intently until I hear the slight grinding of gears, and I release the pressure from the panel. I hear a faint hissing sound and it springs open slowly with a low groan. Roman gawks.<br/>“I’ve lived here my entire life and I never discovered that, how the hell-?” He asks, and I just raise my eyebrows, looking at him pointedly. “Oh, right.” He pouts. “Still, 26 years of thorough exploring and you find it in five seconds.” I raise an eyebrow, smirking.<br/>“So you were exploring the castle since before you were one year old?” I ask, and he blushes.<br/>“No, but still!” He says, and I just shake my head. He follows me into the passageway, and the door shuts behind us. It’s pitch black, but I walk forwards a few steps and examine markings on the wall, a map of the different passageways and how they connect. Just three lefts and a right and we’ll be outside, in a forest that’s hidden from sight. “Uh, Virgil? Where’d you go?” Roman asks, and I blink in surprise. I walk back over to him.<br/>“Sorry, I forgot most people can’t see so well in the dark.” I laugh “My siblings used to get scared, but even when I was four I’d go into a pitch black room and just wait for them to find me, standing in plain sight.” I touch his arm gently, trying not to startle him, and I see a surprised yet fond look on his face. I look away, searching for a torch, thankful the dark hides my blush. I spot one and guide him forwards, grabbing it and the flint attached at the bottom. I quickly light it, and I hand it to him, looking away again as I step forwards. “It’s this way, I already looked at the map.” He looks around wildly.<br/>“What map?” I point, growing slightly nervous.<br/>“We do need to hurry though, it’s going to take a slight while to get there, and we’ll need to find a way to keep you hidden.” He nods and we set off, his footsteps echoing in the stone chamber, while mine aren’t even audible. The only other sound is the fire flickering, and the grey walls are illuminated by a warm light. Occasionally there’s another map, or a small picture carved into the wall, but we travel quickly and I don’t pay much attention. I don’t think Roman notices them, otherwise he most likely would’ve voiced his findings. After the first two turns he speaks up.<br/>“Virgil?” I hum in acknowledgement. “What’s D like?” He asks, and I glance back at him, confused. Why would he want to know?<br/>“What do you mean?” I ask, there are a multitude of things that question could entail. <br/>“What’s he like as an employer?” He clarifies, and I have to think for a moment. <br/>“Well, he’s rather strict. He often oversets deadlines right before an important task, views people purely as weapons, and often threatens people when giving them their next assignment.” I say, carefully avoiding any words pertaining to exactly what type of job it is. He already knows, but I find it’s more tactful to just not talk about that fact that the assignments are people that we need to turn into bodies. <br/>“How often does he give out... assignments?” He asks, and I shrug. <br/>“At the end of a deadline, sometimes with a few days gap in between. The deadlines are usually around two weeks, the most I’ve been given is a month for one task. He’ll randomly give out two month breaks sometimes, usually when he’s assigning tasks from out of the country to the lower level workers. For some reason he doesn’t want me doing them.” I explain, and he nods. <br/>We make the final turn and I see the tunnel start to slope downwards, and light filtering in from the end. Roman hangs the torch up nearby and starts to run. I just shake my head, chasing after him with still silent footsteps, easily keeping pace. In the last twenty feet I race ahead of him, stopping short at the end and surveying my surroundings. We’re two miles away from where I need to be, and a clock in a nearby shop reads 12:48. I sigh, that means we only have minutes to find a place for Roman to hide. He looks around and frowns, looking to me in confusion.<br/>“Two things: One, I have no clue where we’re going, and two, why do you look so upset?” He asks, and I groan in frustration, pointing to the clock. He just looks around, clearly not seeing it, and I sigh. Apparently my eyes are more trained than his as well.<br/>“It’s 12:49.” I say as the hand moves, and his face lights up in shock. I glance around one final time before grabbing his hand as I sprint off into the forest. We just came out of a hill, and we’re a good 300 feet from town, so no one should spot us. He seems surprised, but he doesn’t say anything as we dash across town, and when we finally arrive his breathing’s barely off, an impressive feat for someone who wasn’t professionally trained. I suppose that’s why it was one of the competitions. I notice on the clock on a shop across from the building we’re behind, which is the building I need to be in, that it’s 12:56. I groan again. I find a suitable tree, climb a few branches and yank Roman up, and jump down. “Wait here.” I say, and I start to scale the side of the building. There’s no way I’m making it in time if I walk through the front doors, and D will kill me if I’m late.<br/>“What do I do if I’m found?” He asks panickedly, and I meet his eyes, pausing for a split second as I reach his height.<br/>“Run.”</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Facing Fears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What do I do if I’m found?” He asks panickedly, and I meet his eyes, pausing for a split second as I reach his height.<br/>“Run.” I say, my voice deadly serious, and he just nods nervously, getting higher in the tree. That will do nothing but hinder his escape, but I don’t dare say another word. I hop in through an open window, and if the security are confused, they don’t show it. It’s not too unusual for me to show up like this, so I think they’ve gotten used to it at this point. I wait three seconds for the clock to turn and throw open the doors, slickly shutting them behind me. D raises an eyebrow.<br/>“You look disheveled. Something happen?” I glare. <br/>“Nothing, I just had a messenger wake me up in the middle of the night during an important mission, who was loud enough that they woke my target.” He smirks.<br/>“So you were sleeping in the same room together.” My glare hardens.<br/>“I won the competition and that was the reward, due to the dimwitted monarchs.” I say, and he leans forward on his desk, resting his chin in his hand.<br/>“Now tell me,” All coyness drops from his face, a deadly seriousness taking over “Why didn’t you kill him then?” He asks, and I just raise my eyebrows.<br/>“Really? In the middle of the night? With guards outside the door? Surely you don’t think me so amatuer?” He draws back, seeming to rethink his plan now that he appears a fool “Plus, even if I could’ve framed someone else, he has valuable information about the king and queen, the whole kingdom, and the infrastructure of the castle. You gave me two weeks, and for once I intend to take full advantage of the time given to me, since it is such an important mission. It’s a much easier task however when I don’t have to explain someone sneaking up to the window and referring to him as my target in the middle of the night. He was so careless with it that he didn’t even realize that my target woke up, since he didn’t sit up and directly show it.” I explain, and he grows furious.<br/>“You’re dismissed, I have someone else to scold now.” He says callously, and I walk out easily. I hear him shouting to one of the security members to get Agent Nathan, so apparently that was the messenger’s name. I walk easily down the two flights of stairs and out the front door, walking into the street for a few hundred feet before ducking behind a shop and climbing a tree so they don’t hear the rustling of leaves on the ground. I blend in enough that they’ll think it’s just the wind, and I jump through a few trees until I reach Roman. He sighs in relief as I land next to him, I guess it’s harder to go unnoticed when you’re flying through the air and someones’ looking for you. <br/>“Oh thank god, I thought you forgot about me for a moment.” He whispers, and I give him a look that just says ‘Really?’<br/>“No, I was making sure that they didn’t see me just disappear into the woods. Now we need to get back to that tunnel before anyone notices we’re gone.” A horrified look comes to his face.<br/>“I just remembered, they said they wouldn’t check on me until 2 o’clock.” He says, and I glance back at the clock. It’s only 1:07, but considering how long it takes to get through the tunnel, we’ll need to hurry. I glance back at the building, which looks like an abandoned black warehouse, and wince. I grab his hand once again, ignoring both of our blushes, and I jump effortlessly to the next tree, pulling him along. He wavers as we land, clinging onto me nervously. “Warn me next time.” He says, and I let out a breathy laugh.<br/>“Okay. Warning.” I say, and jump again. It’s slightly harder now that he’s just straight up attached himself to me, but it’s more faultproof than just tugging him along and hoping he doesn’t fall. I ignore my own smile, and the growing blush on both of our faces, gleefully flinging us from tree to tree until we make it back to the tunnel, which has shut, a door looking like a tree stump blocking the entrance. I giggle as I drop us to the ground, it probably wasn’t necessary to travel through the trees the entire time, but he doesn’t need to know that. <br/>“Um, are you sure we’re at the right place?” He asks, his voice low as though he’s afraid someone will overhear us. I smile, pulling the tree trunk away and revealing the tunnel. The gears don’t sound too happy about being forcefully pried open, but it doesn’t sound broken, and I relight the torch. Roman just sighs, giving a goofy grin as he walks into the tunnel, taking the torch as I hand it to him. After we get a few feet inside the door shuts again, and we hurry along through the dark walls. After a few minutes he breaks the silence. “How did it go?” He asks quietly, sounding... scared. Like a child who doesn’t know if their parents are going to come home from work, or if they’ll die on the job. My heart breaks slightly at the sound.<br/>“I made him feel like an idiot and he dismissed me so he could yell at the messenger from last night.” He looks surprised.<br/>“How-?” I laugh.<br/>“He always overshoots on the deadlines, so I told him that I’m actually using the time for once, and that I wouldn’t be so amatuer as to complete the task when I’m the only one in the room with you with guards at the doors.” I say, and his nose scrunches up in confusion. I hold back a stupid smile at the sight.<br/>“There weren’t guards outside the doors.” He says, and I smirk.<br/>“He doesn’t have to know that.” I say, and he meets my eyes. He stares for a second, before laughing as we race along. I remember dancing with him, last night, before all of this happened. I felt so light, being swept along by his charm as the music played. Now, running with him as his laughter rings through the hall, I feel that same lightness, like I’m floating on a cloud. It’s enough to make me forget what led us to this point, and I find myself laughing along with him, until I can no longer hear our pounding footsteps, nor the flickering of the torch, only the sound of pure glee that echoes through the stone chambers hidden under the castle. For once I don’t even wonder if anyone can hear us, carefree enough that nothing seems to be able to bring me down.<br/>Until the torch dies halfway through, and Roman skids to a halt. I can still see, though my eyes take a few extra seconds to adjust after having light for so long, but Roman’s completely in the dark, and we still have one more turn to go, without either of us having any way to know what time it is. What’s more, there’s no place to put the torch nearby, which means there’s no flint to relight it. I can see Roman shaking, and I realize something crucial that I somehow never noticed before. Roman’s scared of the dark. I don’t think he’s scared of night, since he was fine when we snuck out, but in a pitch black setting he is trembling head to toe, anxiety practically radiating off him. I gently take the torch from his hands, sliding it into one of my bigger pockets, and I take his hand.<br/>“I know you can’t see, but I can, and I’m going to lead us back, okay?” He just nods, I don’t think he trusts himself to speak. I carefully link our arms and start walking again, this time simply speedwalking rather than running. I don’t think Roman’s up to that yet, and it was only 1:13 when we entered, so we should have some time. Roman’s clutching my arm like  a lifeline, but I can tell he’s trying not to be overbearing. I smile, squeezing his arm gently as we walk. As we near the end I place the torch in it’s holster, opening the door without a word. He gasps in relief as light floods our vision, and I have to blink to see clearly. I check the clock and sigh in relief. 1:54, not bad. Roman still looks visibly shaken and I steel myself, hugging him as reassuringly as I can. I’m not the best at comforting people, considering my life path and everything, but I feel that it’s only fair that I return the favor. And it hurts to see him in pain.<br/>“Thank you.” He says after a moment, and I blush brightly, thankful that he can’t see my face. We sit on the bed, pulling apart, and we chat for a few minutes, waiting for someone to come in, though I don’t know who exactly will stop by. The king? A guard? Someone I don’t know whatsoever? I’m starting to overthink when there’s a knock on the door, but then it’s just abruptly opened anyways, rendering the warning fairly useless. It’s a random castle worker who’s position I don’t know, but Roman’s face lights up. “Patton!” He says excitedly, and I glance between them. He blushes slightly. “This is my personal assistant of sorts, Patton. Patton, this is Virgil.” He introduces us, and I wave shyly, Patton bounds into the room, cheerfully shutting the door behind him.<br/>“Hello Virgil! So, you won the competition three nights in a row? Must’ve been pretty exciting.” He says, and in the five seconds it takes to say it he gives off more energy than I’ve heard in conversations that last hours. Though, to be fair, he’s only slightly more energetic than Roman, just in a different way.<br/>“Yeah.” I say, feeling a bit like a fish out of water. I haven’t really talked to anyone about it other than Roman, and that brief discussion with D, and both of them know my profession, so I’m a little awkward since one of them knows and one of them doesn’t.<br/>“Where’d you learn to throw knives like that? I happened to catch a glimpse right when it was your turn, and you were outstanding!” He says, and Roman glances worriedly at me. I, however, instantly switch over to confident fabrications, an easy smile falling on my face.<br/>“It’s a hobby of mine, plus it helps in self-defense so it lessens my anxiety.” He smiles, and Roman’s worry increases.<br/>“Did you guys meet at the ball? Cause it seems like you’ve known each other forever!” He says happily, and Roman and I lock eyes.<br/>“Yeah, certain experiences will do that to you.” I say, and Patton tilts his head slightly, confused, but his smile never leaves his face. “But yeah, we met at the first ball.” Patton glances between us.<br/>“And of course you were immediately lovestruck by the dashingly handsome prince.” Roman says dramatically, and I roll my eyes, ignoring my own light blush.<br/>“Of course.” I say, just as dramatically.” Patton smiles  brighter, leaning forwards slightly.<br/>“Come one, let me in on the secret. What happened?” He asks, and we meet eyes briefly.<br/>“We’ll tell you, just not now.” Roman says carefully, and though I grow nervous, I nod. He pouts.<br/>“Come on, not even a little hint?” He asks, and Roman shakes his head. <br/>“Nope.” He glances at me. “At least, not until we’ve had a discussion about it.” He says, and Patton sighs.<br/>“Fine, but you need to talk about it soon! I’m gonna die of curiosity.” He says, flopping overdramatically onto the bed next to Roman. I smile.<br/>“How long have you two known each other?” I ask, and Patton laughs. Roman seems to grow frantic. <br/>“We were very young, we don’t remember the first time we-” He rushes to say, but Patton cuts him off.<br/>“I caught him stealing from the cookie jar, and when he saw me he fell, shattering it.” He giggles and Roman blushes profusely. “I only caught him because I was about to myself.” Roman sits up taller, puffing out his chest.<br/>“I am a prince! I would never do such a thing!” He exclaims, and I laugh.<br/>“Sure you wouldn’t princey.” I say, and he gasps in mock-offense.<br/>“Are you suggesting I’m lying?” He asks, sounding appalled, but for once I don’t panic at his tone.<br/>“No.” I say coyly “I’m simply suggesting that you’re not telling the truth.” I say, and Patton covers his mouth to hide his laugh. Roman falls back, a hand over his chest as though he’s been wounded.<br/>“My pride, you’ve killed my honor!” He says, and I respond before I can stop myself.<br/>“Nope, you did that yourself.” I say casually. I freeze, afraid I’ve gone too far, and he gasps again, but then he bursts out laughing. <br/>“I guess I did.” He meets my eyes. “When did it first happen? When I bowed deep enough that I touched the ground?” I smile fondly “Or was it when I suggested to sneak out to meet you?” He asks, and Patton gasps, covering his mouth with the biggest grin I’ve ever seen. Roman’s hands fly to his mouth, an ‘oh shit’ look coming to his face, and I stiffen nervously.<br/>“Is that what the secret was?” He asks, bouncing to his feet. I glance at Roman.<br/>“Sure.” I say slowly, and he gasps again, his eyes as wide as the moon. <br/>“There’s more?!” He exclaims, and I inwardly sigh. The most persuasive person on the planet, spitting out see-through white lies because of love. Roman laughs at his friend’s antics.<br/>“As much as I’d love to share the drama with you, they’ll be expecting you to report on us.” Roman says, somewhat awkwardly. I guess having someone constantly monitoring you isn’t all that fun. “Plus, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to miss an opportunity to talk with Logan.” He says, and Patton blushes.<br/>“Roman.” He says, swatting the prince’s arm. I smile at the exchange, looks like I’m not the only lovestruck person here. He sighs, smiling. “Fine, I’ll leave you two lovebirds in peace.” I hide my blush at his words, and Roman shoos him out of the room. </p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Bitter Plans and Family Meetups</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“As fun as that was,” He says, turning to me “We do need to have a discussion about this whole situation. “Patton isn’t the only one who’s going to grow curious, and once your deadline hits...” He trails off, and I nod grimly, the smile wiped off my face. I don’t want to put him in danger, but even if I own up to it and get myself killed, he’ll just send another person after Roman eventually, and I’d rather be here, where I’m able to protect him. An idea occurs to me.<br/>“Take him away from his resources.” I say, looking up. Roman just looks confused. “If we’re able to get D away from all of his resources; his guards, his communication, his hitmen, then we’ll be able to confront him safely. I’ve been in a fair number of fights, I’m sure I could take him down if needed, and then we could take him into custody for his numerous crimes. It doesn’t just end at murder, by the way.” I say, and he nods.<br/>“But how do we do that? We’d need to get him alone, and ensure that he hadn’t brought backup.” I think for a moment. <br/>“Sometimes he’ll go on personal missions, and I’ve spied on him a few times to see what exactly he does.” Roman glances at me oddly “It’s important to know these things in my field of work.” He just shrugs “He’ll get news of a new murderer roaming the streets and he’ll seek them out to recruit them. They only have two options, agree, or die, but they never know that. If we could start a rumor that there’s a new murderer on the streets...”<br/>“Then we could lure him out to try and recruit them!” He finishes for me, and I nod.<br/>“But we’d need to actually set someone up to do that, since he stalks them to find an appropriate time to talk to them. And if he recognizes the person, then he won’t be too happy about them going off and killing on their own, since that could get the whole industry caught.” Roman hums in thought. He looks to me, an apologetic look in his eyes like he’s sorry for what he’s about to suggest.<br/>“Maybe one of your family members? Since it’s kinda their fault that you’re in this whole mess to begin with.” I just stare at him. I’m kinda battling with myself, since part of me really wants to see how they’ll react to this suggestion - and they can’t exactly report it to the authorities since then they’ll have to admit to forcing me into this at age five - but at the same time they did rain me to think about them over myself so... (And a small part of me is furious at them for doing so)<br/>“Well, I do literally pay them still, so I suppose it’s only fair.” He stares in shock.<br/>“You what now?” He asks, and I smile sheepishly.<br/>“I mean, they kinda trained me into thinking that they’re more important than me, and the whole reason I’m in this job was to make them money, so they wouldn’t starve to death, and I kinda never stopped?” It sounds a lot worse out loud. “I mean, it’s only been small portions every other month, but it’s not like I was doing anything else with the money.” He just keeps staring. “Okay, this was a whole other conversation. You’re right, that does sound like a fair payoff. <br/>“You know what, I’m not even gonna argue right now. I can ask to get a carriage ride out to their house? I’m sure no one will mind, since they’ll just think it’s me socializing with you.” I nod. <br/>“Sure, plus they’ll just think we’re going to a random farm.” He agrees and goes outside the room, talking to a few people and guiding me through the castle until we’re in a carriage ride out to the countryside. The guards on the front don’t seem to mind, though Roman seems determined to come inside with me, and they’ll need to stay by the carriage for this, so it might take some convincing. We arrive, and Roman gets out, only to plant his feet directly in mud.<br/>“Oh, come on.” He says, but there’s a smile on his face. The guards look alarmed, but Roman waves it off. “It’s fine. We’re here for a private matter though, so I unfortunately have to request that you stay here.” They frown.<br/>“But this is a place we do not know, your majesty.” One of them says.<br/>“It’s just my family’s farm, I promise I won’t let anything happen.” I say earnestly.<br/>“Plus, on the off chance anything goes wrong, I’ll just give a shout and you can come running.” He says, and they reluctantly agree. Roman looks particularly dissuaded by all the mud, but he doesn’t say anything, strutting forwards with purpose. I realize that I’m still in the same suit as yesterday, I should really change my clothes soon, but the only one who really knows that is Roman. I knock on the front door, and my father opens it, an annoyed look on his face.<br/>“Look, we don’t want to be bothered by-” He falls silent as he sees me, tears coming to his eyes. “Virgil?” He asks quietly, and I feel my usual distaste for the world kicking in.<br/>“We’re not here for a family reunion.” I say bitterly, and he looks confused.<br/>“We-?” He looks around in confusion, only for his jaw to drop. “Your majesty!” He stutters out, giving a quick bow. My mother walks over, peering through the door in confusion, but her jaw quickly drops as well.<br/>“Michael! Sam! Rachel! Come here!” She calls out, and I hear three collective groans.<br/>“What?” Sam calls out, the middle of the three and just as annoying as I remember him.<br/>“Your brother’s showed up with the prince!” She shouts, and Roman glances at me. I sigh in annoyance as they come racing over, staring in shock. <br/>“Please, come in.” My father says, and Roman steps inside, clearly grateful to be out of the mud.<br/>“What brings you here? You haven’t talked to us in years!” Rachel exclaims, glancing at Roman. Somehow, she seems more shocked that I’m here than him.<br/>“We require a favor.” Roman says seriously, and they all turn their attention towards him. He glances at me, and I sigh again.<br/>“One of you needs to pretend to be a murderer so we can stop my boss from murdering us both.” I say, and Roman knocks my shoulder lightly.<br/>“There are better ways to say that.” I raise an eyebrow.<br/>“And there are better ways to make money than forcing a child to murder.” I spit back, and everyone winces. Then, my family's eyes collectively widen as they look to Roman.<br/>“He knows-?” Michael asks, glancing between us. <br/>“Yeah, because my next “assignment” was to kill him. So instead of doing that, we’re trying to get my boss thrown in jail so we don’t both die.” I say simply, refusing to explain it any more than necessary. My parents wince.<br/>“I’ll do it!” Sam says excitedly. “I mean, I’d never actually kill someone, cause ya know, you really shouldn’t.” I narrow my eyes and he avoids my gaze “But like, it would be fun to pretend to.” He says, and my parents try to warn him, but I stand abruptly.<br/>“Great, then it’s settled. We’ll start the rumor, and my employer will seek you out. Just remember, if you say no to his request to join him, your body will not be found. Linger around town at night and let him find you, that’s all you have to do.” I say, and I turn on my heel, letting Roman join me whenever he pleases.  I wait outside for him, my arms crossed and my back against the front wall, and Roman appears a moment later.<br/>“You don’t like them that much, do you?” He asks carefully, and I raise my eyebrows, meeting his eyes.<br/>“Well aftering regaining the emotions that I was forced to repress from age ten, it’s not too shocking to find that I don’t like anyone who forces children into jobs beyond their roles as children, let alone the people who force a five year old to become a murderer. And then who casually go ‘oh yeah, you really shouldn’t kill people’ when it’s brought up.” I say bitterly. I hear crying from inside and push myself off the wall. “Let’s just go, I’d rather not think about it.” I say, not waiting for a response. Ya know, experiencing true, bitter anger for the first time in years is not a pleasant experience, let alone having to go through it in front of the person you’re in love with. <br/>I ignore that last thought.<br/>We get back in the carriage and head back to the castle, and a quiet conversation ensues. I agree to head home, and he resolves to drop small hints to Patton and that we’ll tell him together after we catch D. I tell him that if he tries to out me when being locked up that I can just lie, because who would believe that such a sweet, innocent, loving young man could possibly be a trained assassin, I mean just look at him, he’s got anxiety, he couldn’t hurt a fly. I mean, I fooled the king, queen, the whole of the kingdom that went to the ball, the whole kingdom for the entirety of my life, and the prince that I was sent to kill (until I fell in love with him), and the man of a lead assassin versus the most persuasive person in town isn’t going to give him much of a chance. He drops me off at home, and I wave goodbye, resolving to search the rest of the town for secret entrances to the tunnels in the castle. <br/>A few days pass and I find one more, and upon exploring it I find another small map engraved in stone, showing that it’s the only other one that leads to the town. The others lead to the dungeons, a place miles away, and just other places in the palace. There’s even an underground bunker, and each tunnel is connected, hence why we needed to make specific turns to get outside. I see my brother occasionally at night, and I’ve started the rumors. Mentioning casually to people I pass ‘be careful, there’s a new killer roaming the streets, and I watch as they tell their friends, and people overhear and tell their own friends, who tell their families, until it’s spreading like wildfire throughout the town. Sure enough, I see one of D’s men overhear it, and it looks like an alarm went off in his head. We’re told to always tell him if we hear rumors about murderers in our town, and the day after Roman arrives at my house.<br/>“Why hello, please make yourself at home.” I say pleasantly, and he steps inside, skipping the pleasantries.<br/>“What progress have we made?” He asks, seeming almost panicked. I mean, it has been a day over a week, and the deadline was two weeks, but I smile reassuringly.<br/>“D’s been informed. He takes exactly two days to spy on the person and he’ll confront them on the third night. He’s been hanging out right near the seamstress, so on Sunday night we can meet, right at my house if you’re able.” I pause “Or should I just show up to the palace again, I can sneak you out.” I say casually, and he shakes his head.<br/>“I should be able to get out, but what time?” He asks, worried.<br/>“He always confronts them at exactly 3 am for some reason, maybe he likes it being ‘the devil’s hour’, so try to get out by 2 am and meet me at my house as soon as possible?” I say, and he nods. <br/>“Sounds like a plan. And we have until next Wednesday?” He confirms, and I nod. “Alright. I told them I was just stopping by for a quick announcement, so I need to get back.” He says regretfully, and I nod.<br/>“After this we’ll be much more free to spend any amount of time, since I’m rich enough at this point that I don’t need a job for the rest of my life.” I say, trying to sound casual about both my money - since I really don’t want to sound like I’m bragging - and the fact that I’m suggesting we spend more time together. He stares.<br/>“Just how much does this pay?” He asks. I shrug nervously.<br/>“Usually a couple hundred thousand per person, since he only gives me the more ‘important’ tasks.” I says, and he glances around. “You wouldn’t guess it by how I live, I’ve been trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, and happiness wasn’t really a thing I experience, so there was nothing to strive for.” I say awkwardly. He frowns.<br/>“You really had no emotions, huh?” He says, and I nod. “Not just depression. You truly, 100% didn’t feel anything. How did you manage?” He asks, and I shrug.<br/>“Well, no emotions also meant no sadness, no pain, no regret or anxiety, so I wasn’t all that aware of what I was missing out on. Not that I’d want to go back, but it wasn’t really unpleasant or nice, it just kinda, was.” I say ineloquently. He just nods.<br/>“I’m glad I could help with that.” He says softly, and he looks like he’s steeling himself for something. He kisses me on the cheek before dashing out the door, waving goodbye as he hops into the carriage. “We shall speak again, soon.” He says, and the carriage drives off, leaving me a blushing mess in my own home. I laugh giddily as I shut my door, stepping inside my small cottage. Never has it truly felt so homey before. </p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. No Secrets Left</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The three days are agony, and finally, finally, Sunday arrives. Still, waiting for morning to turn to noon, for noon to turn to night, and night to turn to 2 am is painfully slow. Time has never seemed to take so long before, even when waiting months for something to happen. Roman arrives at my house, knocking on the door, and I have to pretend I’m not so eager that I throw the door open. I quickly let him in and check the time, it’s half past 2 now, so we don’t have much time to talk. He doesn’t mention our goodbye, and I don’t bring it up, and soon we’re sneaking through town. And, if he huddles a little closer to me than absolutely necessary, I don’t say anything. We wait by the seamstress, on the roof of a nearby shop, and it occurs to me that I never told Sam that D always meets at three am, but I see him wandering the streets just before the clock strikes, so it doesn’t really matter. D appears out of nowhere, a cruel smirk on his face.<br/>“Hello there. I’ve heard quite a few rumors about you.” He says, practically slithering around. Sam looks visibly unnerved, and I’m afraid that he’ll blow it, but he puts on his best brave act.<br/>“Psh, like what?” He asks, and D laughs, cold and terrifying, at least to those not used to it. Both Sam and Roman shudder at the sound.<br/>“Well, like ones suggesting that you’d be skilled at a position I have to offer you.” He says, circling Sam like a shark. And Sam makes the dumbest mistake he’s ever made.<br/>He pushes D back, scoffing.<br/>“And what makes you think I’d want a job of yours?” He asks. D’s eyes are dangerous, but he takes a deep breath.<br/>“I’m going to let your arrogance slide this once, since it is obvious you don’t know who I am. I am D, the leader of our organized assassination profit. It pays handsomely, and your skills will be put to use beyond petty murder.” He says, and Sam just smiles like he’s just heard the most idiotic thing in the world.<br/>“Again, what makes you think I’d want a job of yours? I like what I’m doing, and unless you can give me some pretty good benefits then I don’t want it.” I facepalm. I specifically told him that if he refused, his body would not be found, so why is he doing this? Does he have a death wish?<br/>“He’s going to get himself killed.” I whisper to Roman, and I silently push myself off the roof. It’s easy to land, it’s only one story tall and I’ve fallen from much higher, but he looks on with concern. He tries to jump down just as quietly, but he’s about to fall on his ass and create a scene. I sigh, easily holding my arms out and catching him, and he blushes brightly. I set him down with ease and sneak through the alley, watching as D gets so caught up in my brothers stupidity that he forgets to check his surroundings.<br/>“Well let’s just say” D says, a malicious gleam in his eyes “I think a benefit of taking the job would be that your blood would remain in your body.” He says, and Sam looks a little nervous, but I think he’s assuming that I’ll magically show up out of nowhere, despite not knowing any extent of my skills in disappearing. I have to restrain myself from scoffing and compromising everything.<br/>“You think you can take me on? I was raised on a farm fighting cattle, you’re nothing.” He says, and fast as lighting Sam’s on the ground, his arms twisted painfully behind his back.<br/>“Oh really?” D asks, enjoying it a little too much if you ask me. Before he can blink I have a knife at his throat, and Roman looks on in extreme fear.<br/>‘Where did you get a knife?’ He mouths, and I nod to D. I didn’t have one until two seconds ago, I guess he always has a weapon on him.<br/>“As much as I’d love to let you kill my brother” I say casually, making Sam look up in a mixture of terror and awe “You are also threatening my own and the prince’s life, so I’m afraid I can’t let you.” He sputters.<br/>“What do you mean? He’s your target! You can’t just quit! And you’re interfering with a private mission of mine” He growls “You know I don’t take kindly to that.” I laugh, cold and clear, the sound echoing through the empty shops.<br/>“I don’t think you’ll take kindly to being thrown in jail either. Or being told that he’s not actually a murderer, and you were set up by your top assassin.” I taunt, and he struggles, but I’m much stronger than him. I never realized just how physically weak he is, I guess he doesn’t spend much time doing any of the actual work.<br/>“Top assassin? That’s how good you were?” Sam asks, and I growl.<br/>“Are. And if you don’t shut up I’ll make you my last job” I say, and his jaw snaps shut.<br/>“The prince you’re apparently so fond of won’t take kindly to being told you were sent to kill him!” D exclaims, and Roman steps out of the shadows.<br/>“Actually, I’ve known for days.” He says, and D stops struggling for a moment, unsure if he’s on my side or if he’s secretly double-crossed me. I smile.<br/>“Well, since he’s openly admitted to paying someone to kill you, I think that’s enough to throw him in the dungeon. What do you think?” I ask Roman, and he smiles. “Prepare a lie.” I whisper to Sam, and Roman starts to scream.<br/>Soon the whole neighborhood has come running, and I struggle with D just for show, dropping the knife and kicking it out of his reach. Sam realizes what I meant and starts thinking, and Roman falls on the ground, looking horrified. Townsfolk are horrified at the sight, and I make myself look relieved and close to tears. The seamstress walks up, taking in the scene before him. He glances between me and Roman before asking the question I’m sure everyone is wondering.<br/>“What is going on here?” He demands, and I gasp for breath.<br/>“I woke up here and this man was trying to kill me!” Roman exclaims, pointing to D. <br/>“I was following my brother to see why he snuck out when I saw this man trying to kill the prince. I leapt into action and kicked his knife away, it’s over there.” I point, and D tries to make a break for it, but I force him to stay by kicking him in the shin, carefully shielding the action from the view of the crowd. The seamstress picks up the knife and they all turn to Sam.<br/>“And why were you sneaking out?” One person asks, and he glances at me. <br/>“I was sneaking out to meet my love before she left town, when I came across him trying to hurt the prince. I was frozen in fear but my brother was able to wrestle him away before he could be hurt.” He explains, and they all nod, turning back to the prince. I’m surprised, lights are turning on in the castle, his scream was loud enough to wake everyone. I squint and I see Patton holding a lantern, just barely recognizable, staring down at the town from the front of the castle.<br/>“Did this man save you? Or is he lying?” Someone else asks. Roman nods.<br/>“He saved me. I don’t know how I got here, I think he kidnapped me, but all of a sudden there was a knife at my throat and then the person was gone. When I was able to make sense of it all I saw him fighting the person who attacked me.” He says, and I gotta say, he’s an incredible actor, he sounds very shaken up, like he genuinely just was attacked, though I don’t know if that’s just him acting or his reaction to seeing me jump into the action. I try not to think about it. The crow grows furious, storming towards D, who is now fearing for his life.<br/>“That’s not true! This man was trying to kill the prince! He’s framing me!” He exclaims, and I look at him in disgust.<br/>“Why? I went to the balls! I would never want the prince dead, and I wasn’t even trying to be here tonight, I was just following my brother!” I exclaim, sounding distraught.<br/>“He’s trying to save his own skin. Don’t worry about it, we all believe you.” Someone says, and one person in the crowd is comforting me, while three men hold D back. Some crowd around Roman, others ask Sam about his lady love, and others still shout to draw the attention of the castle. After a few minutes Patton arrives, on the verge of tears, and he rushes over to Roman.<br/>“What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He looks over to me “Virgil? Did you see what happened?” He asks, and there are murmurs through the crowd at him knowing my name. <br/>They start to fill him in, and eventually the king and queen arrive, bringing D back to the dungeon and Roman and I to the castle. The crow returns to their homes and Sam heads back to the barn, since he really played no role in this, according to our story. Roman’s consoled, and eventually he and I are brought back to the room this all started in, with Patton still hanging on Roman’s arm with worry. I’m told to stay overnight, since it’s dangerous at night in town, and I don’t mind whatsoever. When we get back to the room Roman drops the shaken act, and he shares a meaningful look with me. I nod.<br/>“Guys? What’s going on?” Patton asks, and I sigh.<br/>“This, is sort of the secret.” I say nervously, and he just glances between us, confused. “Roman wasn’t just attacked, but his life was in danger.<br/>“And Virgil did save me. Just not in the way you think.” He adds in. Patton looks between us, before sighing.<br/>“Okay. Just start from the beginning, and I’ll react to everything at the end.” Roman gives him a doubtful look, but he lets me speak.<br/>“That man was the leader of an organized group of assassins.” I say, taking a deep breath “And he hired me, the top assassin, to kill Roman.” Patton gasps, his eyes flitting between me and Roman, like he can’t decide who to look at. I blush slightly. “I- kinda fell for Roman in the process, and couldn’t bring myself to kill him.” I say anxiously, fidgeting with my fingers.<br/>“So that’s when I turned around, after the third ball, to find him crying and saying he couldn’t do it with a knife dropped on the floor. We had a long conversation about what happened, and..” He trails off, letting me reveal my own backstory.<br/>“Alright, we might need to backtrack here.” I realize “So I had told him the night before about the fact that I had been forced into a job at age five so my parents could make money, I just hadn’t told him what job. I had also kinda stopped feeling emotions since it was a job that required you to toughen up in a sense, but falling for him made me start to feel emotions again, which was stranger after ten years of not feeling anything. So I explained the full story, that the job was being forced to kill people for pay at age five and I was slowly brainwashed into thinking that was my only purpose and skill in life. So Roman helped me overcome that thinking, and together we made a plan to catch the person who hired me, since otherwise he would kill us both since I wouldn’t kill Roman.” I say, and he just pauses, waiting to see if there’s anything else. When he realizes that I’m finished talking, he lets out a deep sigh.<br/>“Can I clear some things up?” I nod adamantly, I want him to get everything straight. He gets right up in my face, a dangerous look in his eyes. “Are you going to hurt Roman, in any way?” He demands, and I shake my head.<br/>“I wouldn’t dream of it. I literally risked my life for him multiple times and was willing to just turn myself in or be thrown in the dungeons, but Roman would still be in danger then and he didn’t want me dead either.” I say nervously. He nods curtly.<br/>“Alright. Are there any more secrets you guys have?” I lock eyes with Roman and Patton’s eyes narrow. Roman nods.<br/>“We kinda discovered secret tunnels in the castle since we had to sneak out to keep D from killing me for not showing up.” I say, and multiple emotions flash across his face.<br/>“First of all, who’s D?” He asks, and my eyes widen.<br/>“Oh, right, no one really asked his name. He’s the man we just arrested.” He nods.<br/>“Okay. Second, showing up to what?” I sigh, there really is a lot to unpack.<br/>“Well, basically he’ll sometimes send messengers to tell me to hurry up on my... assignments, and one showed up in the middle of the night to tell me to meet him at 1 pm to check up on me.” Shock lights up his face.<br/>“But I checked in on you at 2!” He exclaims.<br/>“That’s where the tunnels come in.” I say, and he looks even more confused.<br/>“That’s the third part. Where?” He asks, and I glance at Roman before standing up, lightly pressing one of the panels of the wall. It opens again, and Patton gasps, his eyes flitting to Roman.<br/>“Did you know about this?” He asks. He shakes his head.<br/>“Not until Virgil discovered it within five seconds of looking at the room.” He says, still sounding a little bitter.<br/>“Alright. Final thing, why did Roman go along with you?” He asks, and I look to Roman, smirking.<br/>“I don’t know, Roman, why did you come along with me? After I repeatedly told you how risky, idiotic, deadly, and difficult it would be if you came along?” I ask, and he just pouts.<br/>“Because you were going on an adventure! That’s what I’ve dreamed of for like, my whole life!” He exclaims, and I sigh. <br/>“Because he’s stubborn, that’s why.” I respond, and Patton just shakes his head, smiling.<br/>“That he is.” Roman looks up, offended.<br/>“Hey!” Then he realizes Patton is smiling, and he glances at me. “So... you’re not mad?” He asks, and Patton shakes his head.<br/>“You’re not going to kick me out? Kill me? Lock me up? Tell everyone else? Silently hate me?” I ask, and he shakes his head, looking bewildered.<br/>“Why would I? If I’m not mad, and you’re not going to hurt him, then why would I risk your life pointlessly?” I shrug.<br/>“I don’t know, it seems like you both should really want me dead.” I say, and Roman touches my arm lightly.<br/>“It’s alright. None of it’s your fault.” He says, and Patton studies me for a moment.<br/>“Wanna explore the tunnels?” He asks, trying to hide his excitement, and I shrug, looking to Roman. I don’t really care either way, but after what happened last time, I’m not sure if he wants to go back.<br/>“Alright.” He looks at me “Just bring the flint with you.” I nod. <br/>“You know, it’s fairly interesting. There’s only three external exits, and the rest head to other places in the castle.” I say as I open the door again. Their eyes widen.<br/>“How do you know that?” Roman asks, bewildered. I shrug, smiling sheepishly.<br/>“Well after we found that exit I searched town for another one. It was pretty easy, once I knew what I was looking for.” I say as the door closes behind us. Patton lights the torch and grabs the flint, and Roman visibly relaxes, before turning to me.<br/>“How?!” He exclaims. “The other one was hidden by a tree stump that you had to pry away to find!” I chuckle.<br/>“Well, there probably was an easier way to open that one, but we were in a hurry.” He pouts “And it may not be obvious to you, just like it may not be obvious that there are slight scuffs on the floor like from a doorway and that the tracks in the panelling are a different depth around one panel.” I explain. “I only found the other one, but there was another map” I point to the one on the wall, as we haven’t started walking yet. Patton walks over and examines it “And it showed an entrance to where I was, one to the other side of town, which is where we came out last time, one leading to the dungeons, and the rest to different places in the castle.” Patton looks up in surprise.<br/>“But how were you able to tell? It’s just a bunch of lines connected, and while we’ve been in the castle, so we know where they’d end up, you’ve only been here during the balls, and right now.” He says, and I shrug.<br/>“Since I was somewhat familiar with the tunnels after the first time and based on the distance of the other two tunnels and the layout of the castle, I was able to make an educated guess.” I say, only somewhat lying. <br/>While I did guess that it was the dungeon, since it depicted it going under the castle and opening to a somewhat public space, I actually had to hide here for a month as part of my training. No one noticed, surprisingly, even though I didn’t know about the tunnels. I snuck past the guards and hid in one of the top cabinets of the kitchen at night, sneaking food once everyone had gone to bed. That would be the only thing I ate for the day, so I always had to choose wisely. At daytime though, I had to explore, because if I didn’t come back able to draw a fully accurate floor plan of the castle and all it’s guards - including the exact lengths of each room, which was a pain to figure out and memorize - then I’d be sent back to do it again, and again, until I got it right. I’m lucky I didn’t mess up the first time, so he gave me a three month break to adjust back to eating regularly again. That was when I was 8, and I didn’t allow myself to forget the layout just in case he asked me again and I was forced to be sent back. It would be harder once I’m an adult, and I just really didn’t feel like shoving myself in a cabinet again. <br/>We walk in relative silence, two sets of footsteps and a fire flickering, one person hiding in the shadows. I don’t even realize I’m doing it at first. “Virgil? Where the hell are you?” Roman asks, and Patton looks around. I blink in surprise, taking a single step towards them. I was only a few feet to their right, Patton’s on the left, Roman in the middle, and me a few feet away in the shadows.<br/>“Right here.” I say, and they both jump. They were staring practically right at me, but didn’t notice me. I guess it doesn’t help that all my clothes are dark. “Sorry, force of habit.” I say, stepping into the light and allowing my footsteps to be heard. As much as I don’t want us to get caught, I also don’t want to freak them out when they’re the only one’s here, and they could easily kill me for it claiming that I was trying to kill Roman again. Roman doesn’t seem as scared, but Patton’s now wary, so I remain silent, just fidgeting with my hands as we walk along the dark corridor. We make it the first turn and this time we make a right, looking to see where the first one leads out inside the castle. <br/>“How do you do that?” Patton asks after a moment, and I look to him in surprise.<br/>“Do what?” I ask, more than a little nervous.<br/>“Disappear when you’re only feet from us. Keep your footsteps silent in a stone tunnel. Quiet your breathing until we can’t hear it.” He says, and I didn’t even realize I was doing the last one. I stiffen slightly.<br/>“I had to.” He frowns “Not right now!” I hurry to clarify “That’s just, as I said, force of habit. Because until a little over a week ago, I had to, to survive.” I say quietly, and he stares for a moment, before nodding. Roman’s just standing awkwardly between us, unsure of what to say. After a moment I stop, spotting another map on the wall. They’re only here in front of entrances, and based on the distance we walked and the single turn we made, we should be right inside the kitchen. I press lightly on the wall and it springs open, quietly groaning as the light floods in from a nearby window. I step out, looking grimly at the room. Just where I wanted to be right now.<br/>“How did you know that no one would be here when you opened it?!” Roman whispers, and I shrug calmly.<br/>“There’s no one in the kitchen at night.” I say simply, and they both freeze.<br/>“Okay, first, how do you know that?” I stiffen, whoops. “And second, how did you even know we were at the kitchen?” I’m about to fumble for an answer when I suddenly stand tall, there are footsteps coming our way, and fast. I shove Roman back into the tunnel and hop in silently myself, holding my breath as they walk by. Except, they don’t walk past the kitchen. The panel shuts just before I hear them walking in, and based on their walking patterns they’re searching for something, or someone. They walk out.<br/>“How did you hear that in time?” Patton demands, and I whirl around to face him.<br/>“Are you really going to keep asking that? How I know things that are slightly unusual but that you can obviously guess where and why I learned them?” I snap, my voice still a whisper, and Roman looks like he’s ready to cry. I don’t think he wants us fighting. Patton sighs.<br/>“Look, I’m sorry, but I’m trying to not constantly think about that, okay? Do you even have a plan for a new job? A new life?” He asks, and I shrug.<br/>“I don’t need a new job, it paid enough that I’m set until I’m dead.” I deadpan, and he sighs again. “But I’m just going to focus on the things I liked before all of this happened. I have twenty years to catch up on, so it’s not like there’s a whole absence of things for me to do.” I state calmly, and he nods, relaxing. <br/>“You still didn’t answer the questions about how you knew we were at the kitchen and that no one is in the kitchen at night.” He points out, and I glance between them. It’s clear no lie is going to convince them right now, and I could become persuasive again, but that takes energy, and they’ll clearly see the shift in attitude.<br/>“Because I don’t really want to admit to you that your security system” I pause “How do I phrase this, isn’t the best.” I say, and they look at me with confusion and surprise.<br/>“What do you mean?” Roman asks “Did you discover the tunnels before?” I shake my head.<br/>“No, but when I was eight D forced me to hide in the castle for a month. If I couldn’t come back with an accurate floorplan, down to the length of each wall, I would have to come back and spend another month hiding, and continue the cycle until I could.” I say, and Roman looks increasingly worried now.<br/>“But no one ever noticed an intruder!” He exclaims quietly. I nod, giving him a pointed look. “How did you survive? You needed to eat, and you had to sleep somewhere, and no one ever found you.” He points out.<br/>“I slept in one of the top cabinets at night, taking whatever leftover food there was that they were planning to throw out the next night. During the day I snuck around, blending into shadows and silently making my way through whatever parts of the castle I could. If needed I’d shout and cause a distraction then run over to where I needed to go, and I spent the whole month exploring and then going back over where I had explored until I could do it with my eyes closed.” I explain.<br/>“And you still remember everything?” Patton asks sympathetically. I nod.<br/>“If I didn’t he’d probably send me back to do it again, which would be a bit harder as an adult. Plus, sleeping in cabinets isn’t the most enjoyable thing in the world.” I say, and they share a look. They both turn on their heels, heading back the way we came, and I follow along silently, confused.<br/>“Okay, nope, we are getting you to bed. You deserve a proper bed after that, not traumatic memories and questioning.” Patton says, and I frown.<br/>“That was seventeen years ago! It’s not like I haven’t slept in a bed since.” I say, and he shakes his head.<br/>“Yeah, but after tonight you deserve rest.” He glances at me “I’m sorry for being so harsh on you, I just want to make sure that Roman’s safe.” He says, and I nod.<br/>“I get it.” I say, and Roman grabs my hand lightly. My eyes flit up to meet his, and he gives me a reassuring smile, squeezing my hand gently. I glance away, trying to hide my light blush at the action, but his grin only widens, making me blush more. Patton’s taken the lead, so he doesn’t see the small interaction, and when he glances back, he doesn’t really get to see it either.<br/>He trips over a small dent in the floor, and instantly I’ve caught him to keep him from landing on the torch. But he’s thrown off balance enough that he drops the torch, and the flint, effectively putting us in the dark again. I’m torn, should I comfort Roman as Patton looks for the torch, or should I just grab it and relight it? Patton gets to his knees, blindly feeling around, and I make my choice. In less than a second I’m at Roman’s side, gently grabbing his hand to let him know I’m here. He looks around, unable to see me, and I mentally sigh. It’s like the torch just hates being lit. Patton finds the torch and lights it, not noticing yet that Roman’s shaking, but then he shouts, throwing the torch. I catch it easily, as well as the flint, and I look at him in confusion.<br/>“Spiders!” He exclaims, pointing to the torch. A few small spiders crawl around it, and onto my hand. I laugh.<br/>“Well hi there.” I say, watching them race each other up my arm. They run back down to my hand, hopping onto the torch and making webs to get to the ground. Now both Patton and Roman are visibly shaken. “The exit’s only a few feet away. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” I say, and they both stumble towards it. Patton practically slams into the door, and it opens with a groan. I blow out the torch and hang it up, splitting the piece of flint in half. It’s best if I just keep some on me at this point. They step into the room, sighing with relief that we’re finally back. I’m about to step through, when a sound chills me to the bone, freezing me in my tracks.<br/>“So that’s where you were.”<br/><br/></p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Late Night Talks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I hold my breath, watching through the crack of the door. <br/>“L-Logan!” Patton exclaims, and it clicks into place. The royal advisor, Logan, is the person the Patton has fallen for. <br/>“Do you have any idea how idiotic that was? To disappear on the night that Roman was kidnapped? I searched the whole damn castle but you were nowhere to be found! You’re lucky I didn’t tell someone, I had a hunch it was one of your ridiculous adventures.” He scolds, and Patton looks crushed.<br/>“Hey, it wasn’t his idea, it was mine.” Roman says, taking the blame. None of them have noticed I’m still missing. <br/>“It doesn’t matter who’s idea it was! For all we know, it could’ve been Virgil kidnapping you!” I wince, hunching in on myself. “Speaking of, where is he?” He asks, and Patton and Roman share a look, before glancing back into the tunnel. I step out sheepishly, and the door closes behind me. Logan just stares for a moment. “Of course. What the hell were you all doing in there?” He asks, exasperated.<br/>“Exploring?” Roman says with a shrug. Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. <br/>“Do you realize how irresponsibly asinine that was? To sneak off and disappear with the prince? Immediately after everything that happened? I know that they’re incredibly foolish when it comes to adventure, but do you seriously have no reason? If anyone else found out you could’ve been killed!” He rants at me, and I just hang my head.<br/>“I know.” He glares.<br/>“No, I’m not saying chewed out verbally or even being yelled at by the king and queen. I’m saying, actually, literally killed, as in-” I cut him off.<br/>“As in being beheaded, or slowly bleeding to death from a horrific stab wound, or being sliced all the way through with a sword, or strangled to death by a guard, or suffocated or starved in the dungeons, or literally any other number of ways I could die. You think I don’t know that? You think I’m not aware of just how easy it is to die in every situation I’m in? Because anxiety kind of tells you every single thing that could go wrong to the most extreme.” I say, and he’s taken aback. Roman and Patton share extremely worried glances. Logan sighs.<br/>“Fine. Then why did you go along with it?” He demands, and I shrug.<br/>“Too anxious to say no? Genuinely curious by the secret passageways? Not sure if I’m allowed to say no to the prince? Outnumbered even if I did?” I say, offering him a number of possible reasons. None of them true, well, except for the curiosity I guess, but they’re extremely likely reasons that I wouldn’t have said no even if I wasn’t in love with the prince. I gotta stop thinking that. He sighs.<br/>“Just go to bed, both of you.” Patton blinks in surprise. “Patton, you know it is wise to leave the prince alone with his guest. You should retire to your own quarters.” He explains, and Patton nods, nervously following him out of the room. Once they're gone, and the door is safely shut, Roman turns to me with worry.<br/>“How much of that was really anxiety?” He asks, and I can’t blame him for being worried.<br/>“Well the whole death thing was purely genuine anxiety, since I purposefully didn’t include any of the deaths from the other reason I think about dying.” He nods, unsure if he should be relieved or even more concerned. “And pretty much the whole thing about not saying no was a lie, I just was happy to go along with you guys.” I say, and he sighs in relief.<br/>“So you weren’t doing it just because you felt forced?” He asks as he sits on the bed. I shake my head, carefully sitting next to him, a comfortable distance between us. I think back to the other day, when we were planning this all out. Silence falls for a few moments, and I steel myself, drawing together all my courage.<br/>“Roman,” He turns to look at me, but I don’t meet his eyes, instead staring at the floor anxiously. “The other day, right before you left,” He seems to understand where this is going, and I see him tense up. I close my eyes, gripping the sheets with way more force than necessary. “Did... did you mean it? Or was it just spur of the moment?” I ask, and I hold my breath, waiting for his response. He pauses.<br/>“Well, it was spur of the moment,” He says, and I’m trying not to show how much I’m overthinking “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t mean it.” He says, and my eyes fly open. I meet his eyes, my heart pounding in my chest, and he seems just as nervous as I feel. “Are,” He seems like he’s struggling to find the right words “Are you okay with that? Did I go too far?” He asks quietly, and I shake my head. I look away, blushing.<br/>“I enjoyed it.” I whisper, feeling embarrassed to admit such a thing. I hear his breath catch. <br/>“Would you mind if we tried again?” He asks, his voice barely more than a whisper, and I look at him, an unreadable expression on my face. “Properly this time?” I feel my heart melt at how soft he asks it, as if he speaks too loudly I’ll flee. <br/>“I’d like that.” I say, my voice just as quiet, and we both slowly lean forwards. His arm reaches up, wrapping around my waist. He draws me closer, and our eyes close. Slowly, carefully, he closes the gap between us, and as our lips meet a thousand fireworks seem to dance in my mind. It’s careful and slow, neither of us have properly experienced this before, so it’s something new, something special, something sacred. My hand finds its way to his hair and he melts at the touch, leaning into it like his life depends on it. He pulls me in closer still until we’re pressed together, the warmth of him close enough that my whole body feels like putty. If we weren’t sitting down I would’ve collapsed into him right now.<br/>Eventually we have to break apart for air, and there’s a certain nervousness to his eyes, as though he’s asking if he went too far, if he should stop, if it’s all too much. In response I lean in again, pressing our lips together desperately, as if it’s the only thing that will make him understand. He needs to know, to understand, that this is why I gave up. This is why I was willing to be locked away or killed, this is why I couldn’t follow through. He holds me tight, our bodies pressed together, and I think he finally understands as my fingers run through his hair. It’s a moment of pure bliss, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. When we have to pull apart again I rest my head on his shoulder, my eyes still closed. He combs his fingers through my hair and I hum pleasantly, relaxing at the touch. We sit like this for some amount of time, I don’t think either of us were really paying attention, the silence a comforting feeling.<br/>“We should go to bed.” He says quietly, not stopping his fingers in their soothing motion. I smirk mischievously, and before he has time to wonder what I’m planning I snake my arms around his waist, yanking him back onto the bed with my entire bodyweight. He pauses for a moment, glancing at me as I open my eyes, and he bursts out laughing. He lays there for a few minutes before we have to rearrange, and he pulls the covers over us. We lay peacefully, taking in each others warmth, our bodies barely touching, but the contact enough that both of us are ecstatic to be here. Eventually we drift off, and I, for the first time in my life, finally feel safe. </p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Morning Confusion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There’s a knocking at the door and I bolt upright, looking around with wide eyes. I survey the room as my memories easily float back to me, and I’m on my feet in seconds, standing tall and awake. Someone’s at my door, so if I don’t I’ll be dead for being sleepy when I need to be constantly vigilant. I frown, I remember being in the castle, but something’s not adding up. I see Roman laying in bed and freeze, my posture relaxing. Oh, yeah, D’s locked up, Roman and I are maybe-sorta-kinda dating, and Patton knows everything. I wonder if we’ll ever tell Logan. That’s beside the point though, and I sit back on the bed as Roman groans, getting up. He rubs his eyes blearily and I quietly giggle at the sight, though he doesn’t seem to notice. He throws the door open, and I blink in surprise when I see the queen, standing with dignity in front of her son. Roman’s face lights up in shock and he attempts to look more honorable, but she just laughs, pulling him into the hallway and shutting the door. I don’t bother to get up, despite them whispering I can hear everything they’re saying. Not because they’re not being quiet, but because I have better hearing than most human beings alive right now.<br/>“I don’t mean to be awkward, but how is it going with your… friend?” She asks, unsure of what to call me. I stifle a laugh. There’s a pause, presumably Roman shifting awkwardly. <br/>“In what way?” He asks, and she sighs.<br/>“Well, let’s start with what I should call him. Is he an acquaintance? A friend? A partner?” She inquires. This time I can hear him shifting on his feet, and I hold my breath. I don’t know either at this point.<br/>“I guess he’s a friend? I mean, I do have romantic interest in him, but we haven’t talked about it much.” I have to hold back from squealing like a little kid. “That’s the safest thing to call him for now, I don’t want to jump to things he’s uncomfortable with.” He says, and I hear her hum in response.<br/>“Okay, that’s fair. How was he last night?” She asks, and I hear him splutter in confusion. She laughs. “Sorry.” Her tone grows more serious “I mean, after the whole abduction and fighting thing. He didn’t seem too shaken, but I don’t know if that was just because he was pretending in front of the crowd or not.” She says, sounding genuinely worried for me. <br/>“He was alright. He was mostly worried about me, since he wasn’t the one attacked.” He says, and I smirk. Yeah, but neither was he. If he had been attacked I probably would’ve been a lot more annoyed that the security had allowed him to actually be abducted and almost hurt. <br/>“Well, I won’t keep you then.” She says, and I can hear the smirk in her voice. I hear her walk away and the door opens, Roman’s cheeks dusted with a light blush. <br/>“What’d you talk about?” I ask, a shit-eating grin on my face. He doesn’t meet my eyes, looking away as his blush grows.<br/>“Oh, you know.” He shrugs. “Things.” My smile widens.<br/>“Uh huh. What kinds of things, your majesty?” I ask, putting on my most dramatic voice. <br/>“Royal duties. Things I have to discuss. Stuff like that.” He says, and I stand up, stepping closer to him.<br/>“Do I happen to be one of those things?” I ask, watching him squirm. He just nods. “Now what would you have to discuss about me?” I step closer still, just barely invading his personal space, and his face is redder than his sash. <br/>“Well she doesn’t know you all that well.” He stutters out “And you did supposedly save my life.” He looks like he wants to flee, but at the same time doesn’t want to move. I nod.<br/>“I also flung you through some trees like a chimpanzee, but she doesn’t know that.” I say, and he laughs. I hear footsteps coming our way, quick and, based upon their pattern, most certainly heading for our door, and internally sigh. I wait half a second before pressing a brief kiss to his lips. I pull away and turn towards the door just as the person starts to knock, and I open it calmly, no sign of what I just did in my expression, while Roman tries to reboot. It’s Logan, and he just sighs when he sees me. Roman, upon seeing who it is, quickly puts on an act of sensibility, since I don’t think he wants to be embarrassed in front of him for a second time in 24 hours. <br/>“I’m hoping you two are thinking much more rationally now that you have gotten proper rest?” He asks, and we both nod. “Good. Roman, you are being asked to escort your guest home, there will be an official gathering of the security council at 1.” He says, and with one final look of distaste he turns on his heel, marching pridefully to another part of the castle. <br/>“Don’t worry about him.” Roman says as I turn around. “He’s always cold to strangers, especially when they’re in a constant position to cause harm, even if they don’t.” He says, and I raise an eyebrow.<br/>“Is that so?” He nods, blushing again. I glance out the door. “At least there’s one person with intellect in this castle.” I say, though only once I’m sure there’s no one nearby to overhear it. He snorts. <br/>“Yeah, I’m pretty sure both me and Patton would be dead quite a few times if he hadn’t told us that what we were doing was obviously stupid.” He says, and he steps forwards, offering his arm. “I’m supposed to escort you home. Shall we?” He asks, and I smile suavely.<br/>“We shall.” I take his arm, and he guides me to the front of the castle, even though we both are aware of how well I know it by now. There’s a carriage waiting, and Patton is the driver. There are no guards this time, and I’m surprised. After last night, they’re lowering security? Or is it just because I saved him, and they’re going to raise their security even more once he gets back? <br/>“Hello you two.” Patton says cheerfully as we set off. <br/>“How did Logan treat you after you guys left?” Roman asks, and Patton pauses for a moment. I think he’s blushing, but his back is turned so I can’t really tell. <br/>“Well he went into a whole lecture about how I need to be more safe, that one day he won’t be there when I’m in danger, and all that.” He sighs. “I really want him to like me, but he just thinks I’m stupid.” He says sadly, and Roman looks like he doesn’t know what to say. I sit forwards slightly.<br/>“I don’t know him that well, but to me it just sounds like he’s worried about you. He doesn’t want you getting hurt when he’s not there to protect you.” I say, and he glances back at me. I may not have experienced emotions myself, but I was trained to recognize them, even when a sentiment had been passed through multiple people, so I could easily read a person and what was most important to them. He thinks for a moment before sighing again. <br/>“I don’t even know if he likes me though. Not even romantically, does he just find me annoying? Am I just another person he knows? He’s always so objective, how do I know how he feels about me?” He asks as we drive along. Surprisingly, there aren’t too many people on the streets, even though it’s a monday.<br/>“You ask him.” He looks surprised. Roman looks at me, probably wondering how I suddenly got so adept at emotions considering my history with them. I sigh. “Look, how easy is it for him to express emotion? Is he in a place where he can freely emote? Because with his position, if he’s emotional he won’t be taken seriously. That can have lasting effects even when he’s not doing his job.” I see myself in him a little, honestly. Before I fully repressed my emotions, when I was just trying my best not to show them. <br/>“But it’s hard to just outright ask him how he feels about me.” Patton says, Roman looking on with empathy. I nod.<br/>“I know. But if he’s not one to leave signs, then you’ll need to openly communicate.” I say, leaving it open. The truth is, Logan most likely does leave signs in the likes of body language, vocal quirks, ticks and habits, and a number of other ways, they just haven’t recognized them yet. The rest of the ride is spent in relative since, and it’s not much longer until we reach my house. Roman escorts me inside, and, mimicking his actions the previous time, he presses a brief kiss to my cheek. Only, this time he lingers for a moment, smiling gently at me before he turns to race out the door. I catch his sleeve, holding him back for a moment. <br/>“Is something wrong?” He asks, and I bite my lip, second-guessing myself.<br/>“It’s just,” I pause, gathering my thoughts “How will I know when I’ll be able to talk to you again?” I ask, a blush growing on my cheeks. He smiles softly, cupping my face in his hand. I lean into the touch.<br/>“You know where the tunnels are. You can always visit me.” He says, and I smile slightly.<br/>“Yes, but how will I know if you’re in your room? And how will I know if you ever seek me out?” He thinks for a moment.<br/>“You could knock three times on the wall. If I’m there and it’s safe to come through, I’ll open it. Otherwise I’m not there or there’s pressing company.” I nod. “And your house isn’t too far from the exit, if you don’t mind me visiting at odd hours?” He says, though it sounds more like a question.<br/>“I wouldn’t mind at all.” I say, and his smile widens. He gives me a fond look before rushing out to Patton, I suppose we did keep him waiting. I give him an extravagant wave which he returns, and they head out, back to the castle.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. New Beginnings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Once they’re gone and my door is safely blocking me from prying eyes, I let out a giddy laugh, my hands flapping in the air. A blush spreads through my face, but I can’t find it in myself to care. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I’m in love with the prince! I want to shout it out to the world, but I don’t dare yet. I’m in love with the prince, and he loves me back! I slide into my small family room (ignoring the irony), running around in pure joy. I flop backwards onto my sofa, a goofy smile on my face as I stare at the ceiling. I can’t get his face out of my mind, his charming smiles, the secret moments that I got to be a part of, the times where he didn’t realize I was looking. Each second with him was a blessing, even in the less fortunate situations. And I know he feels the same! It’s a wonderful feeling, to know that his love for me is just as strong as mine is for him. To know I don’t have to pine after him, to try and win him over. It’s such a strange feeling, to feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but I wouldn’t want it any other way. I jump up after a moment, rushing to grab my makeup. I start creating new designs, falling into the work like I used to. Hours pass in the blink of an eye, and when I finally step back I can’t help but smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A simple rainbow of eyeshadow on my lids, black lipstick smeared with purple edges. A bright blush dusted around my cheeks, since they’d already be red when I’m near him. The purple is still bright in my hair, and there are heart patterns hidden in it now, only visible if you’re close enough to touch it. I giggle again, adding more detail to the blush, intricate swirls and designs hidden to the naked eye. Well, unless you’ve spent years training them of course. I find words appearing and my smile widens as I continue to zone out, ignoring the hidden words spelled out right across my face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What am I gonna do now? I mean, obviously I’m not going to keep killing people, and I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>a job, as I stated earlier to Roman, but I really don’t have anything else to do. I’m officially cutting ties with my family, since there’s no real value in speaking to them - and they’re financially well off enough that I don’t need to keep sending them money. But I haven’t really developed as a person since age ten. I didn’t have any friends until I met Patton, and I don’t know if Logan hates me or if he just doesn’t know me well enough to like me. Roman and I are still sort of dancing around what to call each other, since it did all start with the balls meant for courting the prince, but that wasn’t well thought out on the king and queen’s side, and considering our circumstances we’re both still a bit hesitant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pause, my brush hovering a few inches from my face, staring in the mirror. Maybe </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>is what I should do. There’s no one in the whole kingdom who really does makeup professionally, other than some sketchy businesses that overcharge based on my slight research into the matter. I’ve considered it before, a light daydream I had as a kid. I’d grow up and ditch the job my parents got me, living domestically in a small house, running a shop of my own as a makeup artist. I’ve already got the first half of that dream, and there’s nothing really stopping me now. I smile brightly at the mirror, getting a wipe and scrubbing at my face. No need to go out in public like this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I grab my coat that I bought for the first night of the ball, leaving the rest of the dramatic outfit behind, and whisk myself away, rushing off into town. I find it strange, being among the rest of the people, everyone smiling and talking, laughter ringing through the air. I’ve never really paid much attention to my surroundings, or at least not so freely. Before I’d be scanning the scene, noticing the small things of importance but never anything else. But now, now </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything </span>
  </em>
  <span>is important, because it’s my focus. It’s not attention for a motive or necessity, it’s the wide eyed stare of a child who is just observing the world, taking everything in for the first time. A smile graces my face, and I find myself swept away by it all. I can’t believe this is what’s existed here the whole time, a world full of such wonder and surprise, that I’ve never even considered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I see parents strolling along with their children, couples sharing simple moments, vendors in the streets offering limited items for a hefty price. No one else seems to notice it all, too caught up in what they’re doing, and I find it strange that they don’t see the breathtaking sights of the world. The sheer beauty of the simple peace they can share, without a second thought. This town is huge, the kingdom’s even bigger, but I set a goal inside my mind. I want to see it all, before my time runs out. I laugh to myself at the thought, who knew I’d be making a bucket list after all this. I find a gap in the stores, a run down sadow were a building used to be, and I stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A shame what happened to that place. Torn down after the person died, they had no family left to continue it.” A stranger says to me, stopping to stare with me at the blank space. I nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I can’t help but wonder, looking at the emptiness and dirt where a livelihood was once held. Was this business run by someone I killed? Or someone else in the legion? Did they simply die of natural causes? Or something else? I shake my head, there’s no use wondering, I’ll only feel horrible. I guess I’ll have to do some research, but for now, I simply square my shoulders. I found what I was looking for, that’s all that matters. I march off, a new purpose to my steps. There’s a small shop I know of, they sell handy tools for all sorts of things, but I’ve never really looked into them, I always made my own weapons. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I step inside, smiling as I look around. I may not have much on me, but a few gold coins are more than enough to pay for a simple axe. I tell the seller to keep the change, I don’t feel like waiting for the silver pieces. I make it the rest of the way back to my house and survey the area. My house is relatively isolated, the closest neighbor is a few miles away at least, and the nearest establishment is my previous place of business, which is still a mile or two away. There are quite a few trees on my property, they help to conceal the house from those who aren’t looking too closely. But I figure it’s time to let people know I exist, so long as I’m not screaming about it. I start chopping down some of the bigger trees, harvesting the wood until it’s enough to build a small shack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a law that you’re allowed to have a shop without a permit so long as you build it yourself, with your own materials. I always found it a little strange, but now it works to my advantage. By the time I’m finished chopping wood it’s already night time, the stars shining brighter than they’ve seemed to before, but maybe I’m just allowing them more light in my life. I laugh, shaking my head, no need to get all philosophical right now. I can have a proper shop built by morning if I start now, so I grab some planks, bundle them off, and start hauling them across the town. I stopped at a few shops earlier today, grabbing any extra materials I might need since I had a feeling I’d finish at a time they weren’t open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I notice the sun rising by the warmth on my back first, then the quiet hums of those who live in their shops waking up for the day. Roosters crow in the distance and I smile, wiping the small amount of sweat off my forehead as I step back to admire my work. A small purple shop stands tall as the sunlight travels down from the top, the sign being the first to glow with what almost looks like magic. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Virgil’s Masterful Makeup </span>
  </em>
  <span>it reads, and though I’m not trying to boost my ego, it does need to sound appealing to have anyone come inside. I’ve already done some research onto the trade for makeup products, and I have quite the selection already. The grand opening isn’t until this Friday, so a few days away at least, which gives me time to stock up and buy as many products as I can. I could probably even experiment by making my own, I might be able to gain more business that way, since it is rather difficult to find the materials otherwise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>People begin to gather around, staring at the new shop where a void laid only a day before. A small crowd forms, murmuring, looking everything over, but after a while, with me doing the finishing touches to the interior, it begins to disperse. There’s a few signs out front, detailing the day it will open for the first time and the days and hours that it will be open to the public afterwards. I have quite a lot of furniture to buy to complete my idea, but it isn’t a problem currently. I step outside, smiling once more as I prepare to head out, in search of some stores where I can buy just the right things to make it all complete. A young boy walks up to me, looking no older than 12.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Excuse me, sir?” He asks, and I turn to him, a bright smile on my face. “Will this store be open to… all?” He asks, and I nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. Anyone of any age can come. You can tell your friends if you’d like, since not many people know of it yet except those nearby.” I say, and he smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. I’ll be one of your first customers, you can count on it.” He says happily, before rushing off to somewhere I don’t know. I smile fondly, beginning to explore the town.</span>
</p>
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